In Britain’s right-on progressive, diversity-obsessed world, middle-aged men in blazers, ties and polished shoes are at grave risk of discrimination if not ‘cleansing'. Forget about sexism, homophobia and racism, what about Farrageophobia.
Judging by the bucket-load of ordure chucked over Nige and his golf club legions in the past few weeks – from political rivals and the media alike (even the so-called right-wing media) - the Ukippers are in urgent need of protection by the Equality and Human Rights Commission.
Harriet Harman and her flying squad of diversity and equal ops troops should be mounting an overnight rescue operation.
A quick internet search would tell her that the Faragists have been the subject of at least 2,500 press articles since the campaign began for tomorrow's (Thursday) European elections. Almost all of them have been deeply unflattering.
Farage has been vilified for having a German wife, for alleged infidelity to his German wife, for not speaking German to his wife on the train, for disapproving of the idea of Romanian men moving in next door, for allegedly fiddling his expenses, and for having the temerity to batter Nick Clegg in TV debates, when the wise men (and they are mostly men) had decided that Mr Clegg was victor. The polls said the opposite, of course.
His Ukip party has fared even worse. As the Prime Minister put it yesterday (on the front page of the socially conservative Daily Mail), Britain has heard enough of the "appalling views" of many Ukip candidates and donors. With friends like the Mail, who needs enemies.
According to Dave, Nige has been peddling the "politics of anger". To which one might respond that Dave, with his flotilla of platitudes, has been peddling the politics of insomnia.
Given the current and quite frightening propensity of politicians, journalists and commentators to so uninhibitedly air their distaste for the Faragist, based on what can only be described as deep-seated prejudice, Ms Harman cannot be too vigilant.
The fact that Ukip is perceived to represent a lifestyle and values more attune with the conservative 1950s than with today’s libertarian age should be no matter. Far from it. Our secular and multicultural society ordains that we must embrace all, even Ukippers, whatever our personal tastes.
Farragists are victims of what I can only describe as a particularly virulent form of a savage intolerance that the Equal Opportunities Commission was meant to have wiped out years ago.
Held up for ridicule for wearing covert coats and trilbies, labeled as deviant for occasionally tapping their noses and saying ‘you know what I mean’ over a pint of beer in the pub, they hardly dare get up and go out, let alone speak. Foolish enough to moot an opinion they think may be shared, they are immediately marked racist. To speak is to fear for a Farragist.
Even Labour's equality champions, Yvette Cooper and David Lammy, have joined in the Farage-baiting, displaying their total hatred of that endangered British ‘old boy’ Ukip culture.
Such assailants seem quite unaware of how very exclusive they are being and the 'hate' crimes they are committing.
Figures of authority, as well educated and supposedly liberal as the Telegraph's Benedict Brogan and James Kirkup, are also busily promoting the politics of derision, division and exclusion – at least where Nige is concerned.
Maybe they didn’t get PHSE (personal and social education) or anti-bullying classes at school. I am being ironic of course
These must have come too late too for a political generation who still look down their patrician noses at the Ukippers of this world.
May be the only answer for them all is re-education camp.
It should not be so hard. After all, without it, our politicians and media friends have all learnt to love the burka, the hijab and the niqab. With the right attitude the recalcitrant ones can be made to love the trilby too.
They’ve managed to ‘chill out’ in face of all sorts of tasteless TV, internet porn and ‘grindr’ apps, so surely it can’t be too hard to learn to put up with the odd nudge and a wink.
So, yes maybe it is thank goodness for the Equality Act!
Race, gender, culture, dress or age – none are an excuse for discrimination. In fact the Act goes further (thank you Harriet for saving the day). It positively affirms diversity and imposes this as a duty on all public bodies.
Except that is where Farragists are concerned; for they according to our ruling classes are beyond the pale.
It goes to show how deep-rooted is the officially sanctioned prejudice that they’re nowhere to be seen - no, not on the BBC Trust, on the quangos, in the mainstream media, and the myriad of other publicly appointed bodies.
The BBC should truly be put on the naughty step. They have had to have their arm twisted to acknowledge UKIP at all.
Modern day politics does have an answer to this. Quotas. Frankly, until these are introduced I cannot see how the second-hand car salesmen, men from minor public schools and self-made businessmen who left school at 15 – all of whom the great and the good despise - can ever make it up the greasy political and social poles.
The truth is that the discrimination and phobia Nigel and his ilk face just because of who they are will go on until they are extinct - unless action is taken.
That's why the only solution is to take prating equality-obsessed ministers at their word.
Faragists are in as much need of protection as any other minority group – be they Islamic fundamentalists, LGBT activists, or Romany travellers. Their reactionary tormentors must be taught a painful lesson.
In a reminder of glories past and values lost, the union jack may still (just) be flying over Buckingham Palace and Whitehall. But we all now know it is just a cruel joke.