One of the few traditional Conservatives to have served on the Tory front bench under Cameron, Paterson was Secretary of State for Northern Ireland before being promoted to the more high profile role of Secretary of State for Defra.

Candidate of the day

Owen Paterson

One day to go and Sir John Major has weighed in. “Labour divides to rule. To win votes they will turn rich against poor; north against south; worker against boss." We hope we don't wake up with them on Friday.

Hero of the day

Sir John Major

Another awful Labour woman. The fact Ed Miliband’s carved his pledges in stone doesn't mean he might not break them, campaign chief Lucy Powell has said.

Villain of the day

Lucy Powell

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THE REAL CONSERVATIVE MANIFESTO

Back marriage. Restore grammar schools. Leave the EU.

Nick Booth: Even pretty, middle class blondes have fallen for Jeremy

What a lovely sunny day it was on Saturday. It was glorious strolling along the Thames. Complete strangers would stop and chat and engage with Molly, my companion. She’s a massive flirt and bats her long eyelashes at everyone, rolling over and begging them to tickle her. She seems especially attracted to women, which is nice.

We got as far as Richmond Bridge and Molly started pulling me into this friendly rowing club. We both got seduced here once before, Molly by all the attention she was getting and me by the membership recruiter. With each pint of lager, the joining fees had started to sound less daunting.

While dithering at the entrance, I stood aside to let this heavenly blond creature get past me and join her friends. While trying not to ogle, I furtively watched her as she put down her placard and air kissed the other members.

Hang on, she’s been carrying a placard! What message could this fashionable beauty have been pushing? I discretely read the message. The heading said Smash the Tories.

There was some kind of picture underneath that - maybe scenes of a class battle - and the footer of this poster carried the words Socialist Party.

I thought, by the look of her, she must have spent the morning at the beauty counter at Selfridges. But no. She’d been clearly taking part in that day’s protest march,  aimed at bringing down the democratically elected government, by any means necessary.

Good grief! How things have changed. It’s great if members of rowing clubs no longer go on about house prices, school runs and how the country’s gone to the dogs. But I’m worried those once fashionable obsessions have been replaced by something worse.

It seems that revolutionary socialism is the new house prices. Meanwhile, if the means of (incompetent) production are in the hands of Uncle Jeremy Corbyn, people will be less worried about going to the dogs than going to the gulags.

If you’re one of the people for whom this time of year is The Season, there will be one topic of conversation this year - whether you’re at Glyndebourne or Glastonbury. Smashing the Tories. It’s so on trend.

Mind you, one thing hasn’t changed. Getting your kids into a top school will still be a big conversation. And that, naturally, will depend on your social status. Yep, the class struggle will never end.

Nick Booth

  • Bik Byro

    In a way, who can blame them. The conservative party has offered nothing positive in the last election. It was literally a choice between “vote labour and get lots of nice things” or “vote conservative and get the same old same old miserable thin gruel while big corporations get bigger”.

    • Nick Booth

      Ed Davey won his seat in Kingston by putting a leaflet through our door every morning warning that the Tories would close our hospital.

      As far as I know, that was a totally bogus claim. I can’t imagine anyone would be stupid enough to abolish the NHS and sack all the nurses, as Davey seemed to be claiming.

      However, the existing MP did nothing to refute these hysterical fantasies. He didn’t campaign at all. So he lost his seat.

      • brownowl

        He deserved to lose his seat. And that hubris and arrogance infects the Party from the top down…

        • UKCitizen

          Do you think Labour also deserved to lose Rotherham?
          It would seem that you can abuse tribal Labour voters as much as you like and they still vote for you like some mistreated dog.
          Who needs hubris and arrogance when good old neglect serves perfectly well.

          • Labour_is_bunk

            No doubt still fuming after all these years about “Thatcher closing the mines” – rather than the safety of their female populace

    • Sargv

      Conservatives became a Left-light. Why vote for them when you can get the real thing?

      The funniest part is, that their plan of action seems to be “outleft the Left while maintain the shreds of credibility with Right” still.

      • Bik Byro

        Hi sargv, completely off topic but I would appreciate your opinion on something. This YouTube clip is supposed to be a transmission of a female cosmonaut who died in re-entry. Critics have said that the grammar is poor, some even suggest the accent sounds more Italian than Russian so it is likely to be a hoax by the Italians who allegedly recorded it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Sgc1I9sjfc

        • Sargv

          Those few words I managed to decipher are very heavily accented, have wrong sentence structure and distinctively un-Russian tempo/accentuation. It does indeed sound Italian. Russians tend to keep our sentences succinct and deliver them flat, especially in protocol-like interactions like over-the-radio communication.

          I’d say, a hoax version sounds viable. But bear in mind, that Soviets were not Russians in a way that the Soviet Union had various non-Russian republics. She might’ve been Georgian or Osetian, they have a tempo close to Italians.

          • Bik Byro

            Thanks sargv, I’ve been looking at the “lost cosmonaut” theories recently. As you may expect there is more conspiracy theory than hard evidence.

  • Mike Hunt

    Pretty Blondes tend to be a bit ditzy La La usually , Look at Soapy Ridge on Sky. All me me virtuall signalling tosh. Usually end up not having a job because that’s for other mugs and parked on benefits and guzzling anti depressants because some women have done better than them

  • Sheik Rhat el Anrhol

    I think it is more likely than not that our young folks will have their wish and sample Mr Corbyn’s wares over the course of a few enlightening years.

    They will then, in time, have to decide whether or not his wares are worth paying for – but of course they will have no choice.

  • JabbaPapa

    It seems that revolutionary socialism is the new house prices

    Refreshingly cutting — English Marxism has always been about the acquisition of that which it professes to despise and destroy.

    Hypocrisy as a political ideal.

  • The Conservatives still regard themselves as the natural party of government, even though they have had an overall majority for only two of the last 20 years. Their reaction is one of bewildered hurt at being hammered for a second time in 2001, at coming nowhere near winning in 2005, at failing to win outright in 2010, at only just doing so in 2015, and at being deprived of their overall majority by Jeremy Corbyn in 2017. And now, they cannot even escape to the rugby or the cricket, which, as much as the football, echo to the chanting of Corbyn’s name. That would also be the case at Wimbledon if it had not been banned specifically. That’s right. Wimbledon.

    Of course, the supporters of Tony Blair also wanted him to be a phenomenon in popular culture. They behaved as if he were. But he wasn’t. Not ever. Even in 1996, everyone just laughed as he presented David Bowie’s Brit Award for Outstanding Contribution to Music. Chis Evans introduced him as, “He’s got nice hair, Tony Blair.” Most of them probably went on to vote for him. But they still laughed. He could never conceivably have played Glastonbury.

    Whereas Corbyn has played Glastonbury, to one of its largest ever crowds. If he were to present a Brit Award next year, then he would receive the most rapturous reception that anyone either presenting or receiving a Brit had ever been given. Likewise if he were to present a trophy at the football. Or the rugby. Or the cricket. Or Wimbledon.

    • JabbaPapa

      Whereas Corbyn has played Glastonbury, to one of its largest ever crowds

      — did he also volunteer to help clean up the sh. it piles of green eco-rubbish that his dear friends Malcolm and Cressida Wright-Pratt left strewn across those Glastonbury acres ?

    • Phil R

      We nearly lost because we tried the age old trick of attempting to saddle an opponent (Corbyn) with a derogatory label often means he can be dismissed instead of engaged. Cameron and Osborne were masters of this technique and (interestingly) I think they learned it from the left.

      It did not work this time because Corbyn refused to retaliate and always behaved decently towards his opponents. The attempt at labelling simply did not work. Conservatives need to up their game, starting with their behaviour and morality. In short, the Conservatives need to believe in something other than profit and most important, to start to act honourably in all things. E.g. A good start would be to treat public sector workers decently or have the balls to scrap the public sector once and for all. Death by 1000 cuts and scornful comments (many of them made here) just drives them into the Corbyn camp because they have nowhere else to go.

  • Carbonari1848

    “Pretty young blonde girl attracted to old male politician who promises her loads of free stuff” shocker.

    What next? Vatican confirms “Pope Catholic” rumours?

  • Sargv

    I’d say that pretty young blondes are used to the fact that good things just happen to them, and there are always plenty of affable men around altruistically willing to help them with ANY problem. It does sound like socialism, a lot. “If those rich men are so willing to help a young pretty blond – why don’t they help everyone else with all those extra money?” So I’m kinda surprised by that “even”.

    When married (to a guy, who makes enough to pay 40% tax on the part of his income) middle-aged stay-at-home plain Janes of the world start vouching for Corbyn – then we are truly done.

  • J.L.W

    The trouble is, that even with non supermodel like girls, are capable of bending the persuasions of very anti liberal men to simply be passively liberal and not want to talk about politics because, the vagina rules in that regard.

    There is definitely a quiet culture war brewing.

  • PierrePendre

    Bobos drinking from mugs but holding them prole-wise like thin glasses rather than by the handle. It’s an unintentional metaphor for the confusions and contradictions of protracted adolescence. None of these insouciant young people with their airhead idealism about “doing the right thing” by the disadvantaged of the world probably knows a prole. I mean to talk to as an equal. They have to vote for Jeremy to find out what voting for the likes of Jeremy actually means for people like them. Unfortunately, there’s no learning from experience. Each generation has to learn anew the hard truths that previous generations learned before them. The revenge of we oldies will come when today’s bobos are finally parents themselves, aghast at the frivolity of their carefree and careless offspring.

  • Labour_is_bunk

    Just heard that some prat on Twitter wants the Corbyn Chant to be the “backing track to this year’s Wimbledon”.

    Come on, there must be limits somewhere……….

    • JabbaPapa

      They should put it on a loop in his padded cell …