One of the few traditional Conservatives to have served on the Tory front bench under Cameron, Paterson was Secretary of State for Northern Ireland before being promoted to the more high profile role of Secretary of State for Defra.

Candidate of the day

Owen Paterson

One day to go and Sir John Major has weighed in. “Labour divides to rule. To win votes they will turn rich against poor; north against south; worker against boss." We hope we don't wake up with them on Friday.

Hero of the day

Sir John Major

Another awful Labour woman. The fact Ed Miliband’s carved his pledges in stone doesn't mean he might not break them, campaign chief Lucy Powell has said.

Villain of the day

Lucy Powell

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THE REAL CONSERVATIVE MANIFESTO

Back marriage. Restore grammar schools. Leave the EU.

Rob Slane: An intolerant creed for the ruling progressive elite

We believe in one God, Ourselves, the Almighty, makers of heaven on earth, of all that is now and future.

We believe in one correct ideology, Tolerance’n’Diversity, the only acceptable thought system, begotten by us after all ages (of patriarchal oppression); Good from the Intrinsically Good, Light after eons of Darkness, true Tolerance from the truly Tolerant, of one being with Ourselves. Through it all things have been remade.

For us and our own self-justification, it came down to cast away all opposition, and by the power of our own forcefulness, and the sheer volume of our voices, it was incarnate and was made official.

For our sake, it was opposed by the prejudiced and the extreme. We suffered bigotry and felt hurt. Then we rose again and gave them all sorts of labels, such as intolerant and phobic and nasty, in accordance with the Strategy.

We ascended to places of influence, completing the long march through the institutions, and there we sit in judgement.

We will come again and again and again to judge the intolerant and the extreme, and our utopia will have no end.

We believe in Our Holy Cause, to crush all dissent. This proceeds from our own Inherent Goodness, and from the One Correct Ideology. With them, we worship Ourselves and we are glorified. We are the new Prophets.

We believe in one Holy and Universal Culture.

We acknowledge one Sacred Rite for acceptance in society: to believe in the One Correct Ideology, with no possibility of forgiveness for failure to comply.

We look forward to the demise of all who oppose the One Correct Ideology, and the life of the utopia this is bound to bring.

Amen/Awomen/Agenderneutral

(Image: David Howard)

Rob Slane

  • Uusikaupunki

    Imagine if God were a woman….

    And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the
    Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

    And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

    And God saw the light,

    And God said….”can I just have another look at the darkness again…?”

    .

    • sfin

      Chuckle of the week!

      Thank you.

  • Ravenscar

    And the Lord bestowed divine providence on all of mankind………..

    But that wasn’t good enough, shouted the women – “we want more!”……….

    and the Lord frowned and made them all Socialists.

  • CRSM

    You’ve been reading ‘The protocols of you know’ who haven’t you?

    All this is in there, and it’s all coming to pass.

  • Snoffle Gronch

    This points up an important truth – the worst excesses of Victorian religiosity are alive and kicking in the pages of the Guardian, and the serried ranks of BBC parasites. Here is hypocrisy by the shovel load, sanctimony by shed, and self-righteousness in abundance. These people love themselves to distraction because they are right and are therefore justified. This delusion of moral superiority is very characteristic of fascism – see also the attitudes of the Scottish Nationalists. Because they are justified, they are wholly entitled to suppress any and all dissent from the truths they have proclaimed. And because they are right, they are wholly immune from punishment for even the grossest crimes – not one social worker, councillor, or policeman has been prosecuted for their complicity in the Rotherham scandal.

    Jonathan Swift would have a field day with these vile creatures.