WE apologise to passengers waiting for The Amber Rudd Outrage Express. This train of thought is no longer stopping at this platform due to [RECORDED ANNOUNCEMENT] ‘a tranny derailment’. 

Please listen for details of the Outrage Bus Replacement service. Anyone boarding without a valid grievance could face a fine or six months in Twitter jail.

If you see a Home Secretary that doesn’t look white, tell the Brutish Transport Police. 

They will attempt to remove her. 

See it, say it, sordid.