WHAT do you want from your police force? More bobbies on the beat? An efficient response to crime? A healthy zeal for catching criminals? Too bad, because the Old Bill are now more concerned with diversity quotas.

As with so many industries, the police have been expanding their remit (along with their girths), and have decided that previous guidelines as to what constituted a PC weren’t quite pc enough. So the requirements have been changed. There are no more height restrictions (borderline relevant you’d think); fitness tests so easy Bernard Manning could have walked them and there are 61-inch waist uniforms for those who can’t even manage that.

You might worry that the slight downside to this woke rebrand is that Plod is now unfit for traditional policing – don’t fret, though, they gave all that up ages ago. Burglary, assault and robbery are out; harassing the elderly over blog posts and censorious monitoring of Twitter are in.

Bedfordshire Police, which regularly claims the title of UK’s worst police force, spends its time knocking out rather Orwellian tweets like this:

Wiltshire Police, which also has its moments, likes to go for the (ungrammatical) smug:

Above all else, there is a rabid urgency to employ anyone other than Mr White Male – for he (the vilest of criminals) yields no woke points whatsoever. It was disappointing that none of the UK’s police forces has yet managed to achieve its desired vibrant diversity, so it was time to up the ante.

It was into this sea of sickening wokeness that physics graduate Matthew Furlong, 25, swam in 2017. Furlong was turned down from his dream job of becoming a copper by Cheshire Police when it transpired that not only was he hideously white, he also wasn’t nearly disabled, black, transgender or gay enough.

Furlong mistakenly played the straight white man throughout his tests and interview, and despite performing well, didn’t even have the decency to pretend to be bisexual – a concession he acknowledges might have seen his application approved. How were Cheshire Police supposed to tolerate that?

It turns out that they have form in this department. Criticised in 2015 by the then Home Secretary, Theresa May, for having zero black officers (a major concern in a 99 per cent white area, surely?) the force launched an ‘action plan’ to recruit more BAME candidates, holding recruitment days at Pride events and faith centres.

In 2017 Cheshire chief constable Simon Byrne stated that he considered breaking the law to achieve a more inclusive force. Coupled with this is the growing trend of senior police officers who have consistently called for positive discrimination to achieve the vital diversity UK police are crying out for.

Traditionally of course, it was competence you had to fake at interview; nowadays, it’s incompetence you need. Furlong’s flaw was that he hadn’t polished his victim status, nor done his oppression top button up. It’s no surprise then that Cheshire Police decided he should take one for the team.

Unfortunately an employment tribunal recently declared the force had discriminated against Mr Furlong on the impressive trifecta of race, sex and sexual orientation.

While positive discrimination is illegal in the UK (apart from exceptional circumstances), positive action (giving preferential treatment to equally-qualified minority candidates) is not. The big finding from this tribunal was that Cheshire Police had set the pass threshold artificially low, awarding candidates a simple pass or fail for the sole purpose of being able to discriminate against white men.

Furlong’s treatment at the hands of Cheshire Police is symptomatic of a deeper malaise – what we might call the David Lammy approach to problem-solving: whatever the issue, you can find a white man somewhere to blame for it.

And while the words ‘white’ and ‘male’ are bad enough alone, placed in conjunction they are now the most dangerous combination in the lexicon – the 100ft neon swastika for any self-respecting social justice warrior.

Consider how quickly the vitriol aimed at Donald Trump would have turned to soy had he simply changed his name to Obama. Reflect on the obsequious Leftie tweeting over D-Day, and then remember that Dunkirk was ‘too white’. Ponder why stores refuse to sell T-shirts with the innocuous slogan ‘It’s ok to be white’. Imagine Jon Snow commenting that he’d never seen so many Muslim postal votes in Peterborough – you can’t. Muse on the relentless headlines: ‘White men must be stopped: The very future of mankind depends on it’. Ask yourself why this is considered acceptable?

Quotas are an unmitigated disaster from start to finish. Firstly, the Guardian inches you get are insufficient grounds for destroying the dreams of a young man who happens to be white in favour of one who does not. You are enforcing inequality, not eradicating it.

Secondly, you consign those selected by such feeble criteria (what they are not rather than what they are), to being merely ‘token’ employees. Can you imagine Margaret Thatcher requiring an all-woman shortlist?

Thirdly, the clamour for diversity is selective. You will never hear the Left complain that Asians are over-represented in tech; that blacks swamp the NBA, or that women have an unfair advantage in teaching, nursing or psychology. The Left doesn’t care, which renders their virtue disingenuous and ugly.

Thankfully for Furlong he has now been taken on by Cheshire Police. His case however, highlights a worrying trend. Any society which prizes appearance over substance cannot succeed – a lesson it is high time we relearned.

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Frank Haviland
Frank Haviland is a writer https://frankhaviland.com/. Twitter: @Frankhaviland. His first book Banalysis: The Lie Destroying The West is due for release in early 2019