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HomeNewsBoy meets gel … Neil Young’s song for sanitised sweethearts 

Boy meets gel … Neil Young’s song for sanitised sweethearts 

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SOME readers may have been mystified by Neil Young’s reference to a song entitled Two for one night at the Calgary Harvester, in his recent letter to TCW Defending Freedom.  

It is, in fact, a track on his soon-to-be released album Pandemic Paradise (Free Speech Sucks). And we’ve now discovered a copy of the lyrics, which sources believe might describe his first meeting with Darryl Hannah … 

Our eyes locked through the Perspex screen  

I wondered if this was all just a dream 

I yearned to take off my triple mask  

I wanted to speak but was too scared to ask 

Had she had jabs one, two and three 

If it was only two I’d just have to flee 

(Sad harmonica break) 

It was pizza for me, cheesy pasta for her 

Two for one night at the Calgary Harvester 

I asked the waiter to give her a note  

‘Are you all boosted?’ I hastily wrote 

I played with my napkin hoped she’d not lie 

Would have waited all night for her reply  

Eventually it came she was all jabbed and clear 

I could take off my masks and try to get near 

(Slightly happier harmonic break) 

It was pizza for me, cheesy pasta for her 

Two for one night at the Calgary Harvester 

I moved over there as quick as I was able  

We exchanged Vax passes right over the table  

We took off our masks we gazed into eyes 

I asked her out loud ‘Have you sanitised?’ 

She gave me a nod as if to say 

We had both found new love on that very day 

(Happy harmonic break followed by interminable guitar solo) 

It was pizza for me, cheesy pasta for her 

Two for one night at the Calgary Harvester 

Other tracks on the album include covers of Wilco’s Shot in the Arm, Lemonhead’s My Drug Buddy, and The Horst Wessel Song. 

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John Ellwood
John Ellwood
John is the father of four beautiful girls. He is the co-author of Steam Dreams and other interesting stories. He has generously donated his vaccine to the people of France. John is, thankfully, not knowingly related to Tobias Ellwood.

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