Monday, July 15, 2024
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Coming soon to Netflix: The Archertypes


THE Archertypes is a contemporary drama set in the content-farming community of Santa Barbara.

It’s been a busy first year for Meghan and Harry, a young couple coming into the business from contrasting backgrounds.Meghan has a brilliant crop of grievances to cultivate. When she first set eyes on Harry, he was being bred for paparazzi hunting, a barbaric ritual still practised across Europe, which is near England, in London. In order to rescue Harry, Meghan selflessly married into the Royal Family. But she was staggered at how regal they all were. Meghan was expecting to live off other people’s taxes: nobody said she would have any duty. Harry’s got a bumper harvest of diss content too. It could be big enough to start his own revenge scorn channel.

We join the couple as they prepare to entertain a visitor, Anderson Cooper, whose surname suggests he’s used to working with empty vessels. Everyone is asking questions about the newcomers to the village – who’s Harry signed to, what can he do for me and how can he help my career? Cooper has come to get the full story. His employer is the widely respected Cable Network News, aka CNN, which reaches into every airport across the country and is forever synonymous with #BoardingGate.

It’s the network that’s woken some whopping stories on Russian Collusion, The Sandman and the Jussie Smollett scandal. Now Cooper promises an equally accurate profile of Harry, who wants to lift the lid on the Royal Family in time for his book launch.

There are already rumours that Harry and Meghan are going to suffer a downturn. In content farming terms, they’ve been mono-cropping. They’ve applied too many fertilisers and pesticides. The harsh chemicals they applied to the ecosystem (there are rumours that Harry’s been over-using Matricide) may be useful shock troops, but the price of instant gratification is heavy, and you can’t use that field for another season. Racism is another crop that needs to be rotated carefully, because it can bounce back on you.

These are all lessons that Meghan and Harry, as first-time content farmers with a huge rent to pay, will learn from. But have they burned their bridges?

Tune in find out in the next edition of the Archertypes. Don’t miss Harry Goes Spare.

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Nick Booth
Nick Booth
Nick Booth is a freelance writer.

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