MANY of us are still struggling to figure out the latest batch of ‘freedoms’ so graciously allowed us by the lockdown regime.

The list, published on Monday, goes on and on among myriad sub-headings – including such pressing issues as whether you may use a paddling pool in your garden, or play frisbee in the park.

The nonsense of it all was for me encapsulated by this gem of a comment on the Telegraph website …

‘In all this insanity my favourite new law (out today, June 1st) is no conjugal visits from girlfriends or boyfriends if they live at different addresses. But there are provisos built into the new law which suggest exceptions can be made for two people meeting inside a property provided it is for work or charitable services.

‘So no illegal jiggy-jiggy with the girlfriend, but perfectly legal jiggy-jiggy with Miss Whiplash from Elite Escorts Ltd. She is, after all, working, and even if she waives her fee (unlikely) she can still claim to be performing a charitable service.

‘So here we are, under a conservative government … God help us all.’ 

God help us all indeed.