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HomeCOVID-19Crippled by the vaccine, I lie awake contemplating suicide

Crippled by the vaccine, I lie awake contemplating suicide

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Every day in the run-up to the Parliamentary recess we are republishing the personal accounts of those who have been injured by the Covid-19 vaccines in the hope of  forcing the issue to MPs’ attention; to prick their consciences, and make them aware that it is their duty to see that this gross injustice is rectified at the very least through a reformed and responsive compensation scheme, and also, importantly, through the removal of the vaccine manufacturers’ indemnity. This article was first published on January 9, 2023.   

WHEN the Government response to the SARS-CoV 2 virus was to suspend most freedoms and seek to control our daily lives, I began trying to understand the disease myself. I discovered the virus wasn’t much different than a regular cold for most people (for example, the evidence from the cruise ship Diamond Princess) so I became a lockdown sceptic and very cynical of the motives of the technocrats who seemed to want to hold dictatorial power over our lives. I soon gave up on the BBC and other mainstream media and found TCW, Toby Young, Russell Brand, Dr John Campbell, Brownstone, Ivor Cummings and others for information and news. 

However, when the vaccines became a possible escape from the medieval pseudo-science that was destroying our economy and society, I became a vaccine advocate on the basis that if it was what it would take to end people’s fear, bring it on!   

I am 64, and a medical in 2019 placed me in the top 2 per cent of fitness for my age. I was in the middle of doing some decorating when I had the AZ vaccine on March 6, 2021. Within hours I developed flu symptoms, sweating, fever and exhaustion, so I went to bed. 

I woke the next day to find fist-size bruises all over my body. When I looked in the mirror I had egg-size lumps on my neck and forehead. I was worried and felt I should contact a doctor but as I hadn’t been unwell or seen a doctor in a decade and it was a Sunday I didn’t bother and struggled on with my DIY. 

The next day my bruises and lumps hadn’t subsided and I had developed tinnitus, so loud that I could hardly hear. I went to bed early with a debilitating optical migraine that I had experienced only once or twice in my life before. The symptoms and the migraines continued for days and so I eventually got an appointment with my GP. Walking to the surgery I realised I also had numb feet. My symptoms were diagnosed as a mild and normal response to a vaccine and dismissed and my doctor discussed when I should be taking the second shot. 

I began to get stronger tingling and pain in my lower legs. Within a few more days my lower legs and fingers were increasingly numb. It’s a poor analogy but I can only describe this as like having tuna steaks strapped to the top and bottom of my feet. I began walking with difficulty as I couldn’t feel my feet. This made my knees and hips ache. For several years I had measured an average of 10,000 steps a day using a Fitbit but I gave up on this and began to avoid walking. Further visits to my GP had my condition diagnosed again as normal and temporary vaccine reaction (‘mild side effects are much better than dying’, according to the GP) and I was persuaded by him that I would gain immunity only if I took the second shot. I work in the events sector and it was becoming apparent that I could possibly lose my ability to work and travel without what was then a full vaccine status. 

After the second jab my symptoms persisted and I eventually sought private medical help as the NHS said they were unable to give me an appointment with a neuropathy specialist. 

The private consultant, after extensive tests, diagnosed vaccine-induced Guillain-Barré syndrome. There seems to be no cure, just to wait and hope. As my other symptoms faded after several months, they hoped that the damage caused by my immune system killing my own nerve cells due to the spike protein inserted in them would repair.

When the pressure came to get a third shot to be allowed to travel, or even to eat or drink in some countries, after a long discussion/argument with my GP I obtained an exemption certificate (although this turned out to be useless). 

I eventually got an appointment with an NHS consultant and so went for a second opinion. He sat two metres distant in his mask and his manner was obnoxious and rude. He treated me as if I was faking and he said I may have had a genetic condition that I hadn’t noticed until I took the vaccines. He could not explain how I could feel my feet on March 6 but not on March 7, and said it was possibly because I noticed my body more after getting the jab, or had a long-term injury that had previously gone unnoticed. I had lots of tests to find the cause of this so-called ‘long-term existing condition’ but they were all negative apart from identifying the damage (demyelination). I have been unable to get a follow-up appointment with that consultant.  

I recently visited my GP surgery again out of exasperation. The doctor asked me ‘what I hoped to achieve’ by keeping contacting them. My reply was ‘a cure’, which didn’t seem that unreasonable. The doctor said there was nothing she could do and anyway she hadn’t heard of anyone else getting vaccine damage. She then asked if I’d like to book an appointment for a booster! I now feel that my doctor is not interested in my health and the surgery sees itself as the sales arm of Big Pharma. 

My friends and family get angry if I talk about my condition and I’m told to shut up and stop boring and embarrassing everyone. I still try to play sport as moving on my toes is easier than walking but I’m now used to limping along behind my family while they implore me to catch up. 

I have trouble sleeping as I feel pins and needles in my legs and feet and then the worry about how my condition will develop kicks in and I lie awake all night alternating between acceptance, vengeance and sometimes suicide. 

I now feel 20 years older, distrust the government and medical professionals and feel I’ve been poisoned by them for profit. Furthermore, the so-called vaccines don’t even work! 

The UK CV Family support group for the vaccine injured and bereaved can be contacted here. 

Watch their documentary here.

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