Daniel Moody: The twelve days of transgender Christmas*

(*Trigger warning: contains humour)

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me a safe place to take a pee

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me free surgery

More than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me the world's strongest dwarf

Free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me cis actors playing

Her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me seven SEALs a-running

Cis actors playing, her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me eight queens (homecoming)

Seven SEALs a-running, cis actors playing, her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me nine nuns affirming

Eight queens (homecoming), seven SEALs a-running, cis actors playing

Her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ten trans beers brewing

Nine nuns affirming, eight queens (homecoming), seven SEALs a-running

Cis actors playing, her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me eleven men a-birthing

Ten trans beers brewing, nine nuns affirming, eight queens (homecoming)

Seven SEALs a-running, cis actors playing, her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me twelve twins transitioning

Eleven men a-birthing, ten trans beers brewing, nine nuns affirming

Eight queens (homecoming), seven SEALs a-running, cis actors playing

Her frozen sperm!

The world's strongest dwarf, free surgery, more than two sexes?

And a safe place to take a pee


  • pyotr_leflegin

    Wickedly amusing and right on the money! Thank you, and a Happy New Year to you.

  • DaveAtherton20

    Funny ? and no doubt someone will be dialling 101.

  • weirdvisions

    Inspired.

  • grandpa1940

    If I see one more advert for this probably appalling film named ‘The Danish Girl’ which ‘stars’ this weirdo named Eddie Redmayne, I shall be forced to replace my tv; as the old one will have been smashed into very small fragments in sheer frustration.

    One can only hope that some visionary will bring out a ‘TG’ film where the operation discussed contains the separation of the head from the confused clown’s body.

    This ‘transgender’ rubbish should be spoken of as it should be, which is that there are a tiny group of men who spend a great deal of cash on women’s dresses, underwear, and probably plastic surgery as well, but the end result is they are still men dressed up in women’s clothing, but possibly a great deal poorer!