THE Squid Game is a television series created for Netflix by the South Korean director Hwang Dong-hyuk. The contestants, all of whom are in deep financial trouble, risk their lives to play a series of deadly children’s games. TCW Defending Freedom has learnt that in 2020, the Government secretly entered the population of the UK into its version of The Squid Game. The ten-part series was sponsored by Pfizer and Moderna.
Game One – Lockdown: On the pretext of the circulation of what was described as a ‘deadly virus’, the contestants were confined to their homes and prohibited from exercising for more than 30 minutes. The Squid Police used drones to seek out those who did not comply. Players who wanted to stay fit were subjected to a hefty fine.
Game Two – Arrows: When allowed to leave their homes, the participants were told that to avoid contamination they had to stay six feet from other contestants and follow a series of arrows randomly painted on the floor when they bought essential items. Transgressors were expelled from the store and so were unable to buy food.
Game Three – Masks: Contestants were told to wear a piece of cloth or dirty rag over their nose and mouth when on public transport and in an enclosed space. Those who did not comply were often arrested and sometimes beaten by the Squid Police.
Game Four – Bubbles: Families were instructed to form a ‘bubble’ and decide which other family was allowed in their ‘bubble’. If ineligible ‘bubblers’ intruded into a prohibited ‘bubble’, the ‘bubble’ was deemed to be an illegal ‘bubble’ and the players in that ‘bubble’ could be heavily fined for trespassing into the banned ‘bubble’. Relationships in many extended families were destroyed when the ‘bubble’ they hoped to join was an established ‘bubble’ and they could form a ‘bubble’ only with Aunt Hilda’s ‘bubble’ which no one else in the family wanted to have as their approved ‘bubble’. Depressed and lonely people could often not join a ‘bubble’ as there was no one with whom they could exchange ‘bubbles’.
Game Five – Sixes: The Game controllers told the players that they could congregate in bars and restaurants only in groups of six. Squid Marshals were hired to ensure adherence to the rules. The Marshals explained that plastic screens of three feet in height were sufficient to prevent the virus from moving between groups of six, but they would be overwhelmed by a group of seven or more. To make the game more interesting, players were told that when seated in a pub with a drink, the virus would not attack if they had ordered a scotch egg.
Game Six – The Jab: This was the hardest game. Participants were told that they were required to be injected with a barely tested experimental concoction which had never been used on humans. They were asked to believe that there were no serious side effects, and that the injection would stop the spread of the deadly virus and keep them safe. Dire consequences were threatened to the uninjected.
Game Seven – Nose/Tonsil Poking: In this challenge players were instructed to allow a stranger to place a plastic stick up their nostril of choice. The stick was then sent away to another stranger in a white coat who could whimsically declare the player to be ‘positive’. A ‘positive’ player was required to sit alone in a darkened room for ten days and then place a different type of plastic stick on to the tonsils.
Game Eight – Test and Trace: Those who took part in this £37billion pastime were told to write their name, address and phone number on a piece of paper when they entered a building. Those who gave their correct names were informed by Squid Marshals that they had been close to a ‘positive’ participant in the Nose/Tonsil Poking game and they should hide for a week or more or face dire penalties.
Game Nine – The Pass: Survivors from the previous games were told that they must download an NHS Pass which allowed them the privilege of watching a third-rate musician, entering a crowded nightclub or travelling to France.
Game Ten – Compensation: The rules of the game were mischievously amended to ensure that surviving players who had been injured and demanded compensation had to confront confusing barriers erected by the controllers and their allies in the media and the legal and medical professions.
In the next series of The Squid Game, the unsuspecting public will be competing for their very existence in games related to a war in Eastern Europe. This will be sponsored by the CIA, Raytheon, General Dynamics and BAE Systems.