Thursday, June 13, 2024
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Does Sunak know his arsenal from his elbow?


PRESIDENT Biden’s decision to supply Ukraine with controversial cluster bombs drew condemnation from many quarters. These explosives are designed to disperse small munitions, or bomblets, over a wide area.

The International Committee of the Red Cross estimates that between 10 and 40 per cent do not detonate on impact. Thus areas are infested with tens of thousands of unstable submunitions. Small and sometimes colourful, with odd shapes, these undetonated bombs are attractive to inquisitive children, with obvious associated dangers and appalling injuries.

The most forceful denunciation regarding cluster bombs came from our own Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who in a condemnatory and uncompromising speech declared that he ‘discouraged’ such armaments.

Seeking further clarification about the UK’s position on munitions, TCW sought more details from the PM, asking: Where do you stand on the following weaponry?

Agent Orange

Isn’t this Donald Trump? Oh, hang on, is this Just Stop Oil? Whatever, it doesn’t sound very nice, so I think we would not want to use it.

Mustard gas

I think there is a shortage of mustard seeds due to climate change, so this would be a definite no-go. We need to keep as much of this product as we can to ensure no shortages of this delicious and quintessentially British condiment.

Phosphorus bombs

Not quite sure what these are, but it sounds a bit like vote for us, a phrase that I cannot stop uttering and therefore I think we would be happy to use these.

Incendiary bombs

These create fires, don’t they? Due to the climate emergency these are the last things we need. There are so many blazes caused by increasing global temperatures that we should be in the vanguard of doing all that we can to stop these.

Chemical and biological weapons

Absolutelynot – this is the ‘line in the sand’ for the UK Government. We would never ever use such destructive arms and any country using such arms would find that they have crossed a red line. This is not to be confused with a red wall, which is something else we do not want to cross.

Bouncing bomb

What’s not to like about something that bounces? We would be happy to use this type of explosive device.

Nuclear bombs

The world changed for ever with the use of atomic bombs, and the devastating consequences that followed their use are still being felt. Yet, we must be practical and recognise that ultimate force is occasionally required, and that is why the UK retains this type of deterrent. However, I must be clear that we would never ever unleash these missiles without first obtaining clearance from our partners in the EU*.

*Mr Sunak was clearly somewhat confused and temporarily forgot than the UK is no longer in the EU and constrained by its diktats.

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Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin is a retired media executive who worked across domestic and international media.

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