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HomeNewsDr Campbell Campbell-Jack: The Right On Trendy Party deserves your vote

Dr Campbell Campbell-Jack: The Right On Trendy Party deserves your vote


Don’t be a xenophobic, homophobic, bigoted, transgender hating, Islamophobic fascist. Vote ROT.

ROT, the party supported by all good, decent, caring, honest people.

Women Yes, you can have everything, self-fulfilment for women is not an option – it is an obligation.

Only deeply ingrained diseased patriarchal prejudice insists the gender pay gap can only be bridged by having women and men do the same jobs at the same hours. ROT will introduce a Bill making equal pay mandatory regardless of gender, experience, current employment or training. Only when companies can prove that their average pay for women is at least as good as the average pay for men, regardless of employment status, will there be true equality.

To ensure absolute equality ROT will introduce enhanced social contributions, once called taxes, for all companies failing in their duty to women. The proceeds of this enhanced social contribution will go to provide the equality officers necessary to enforce equality legislation.

Vote ROT and smash the glass ceiling of misogyny.

Environment Vote ROT and put a Rotten government in power and the sea will lower, the ice caps will recover, polar bears will rejoice and the Sahara will bloom again. Your Rotten government will outlaw the use of all fossil fuels.

There will be a boom in Britain’s traditional harness making and bicycle trades. Vote ROT and London and Birmingham will be linked, not with cars but with people. The motorways will become eco-friendly, sustainable ribbon housing estates. In the M25 Britain will have the world’s largest open-air velodrome.

Vote Rot for a fitter, leaner Britain.

Victims ROT consider it imperative that we raise awareness of victimhood. There are countless victims of power today who are totally unaware of their victimhood and deep suffering – people who would benefit from relying on a Right On Trendy government.

You can’t get a job as a construction worker on an oil rig because you are a cognitively challenged 76-year-old woman with arthritis? That constitutes enablement, age and gender discrimination and YOU are a VICTIM.

You are a transgender woman who has realised your true identity after being trapped in a man’s body and suffering 12 years of marriage and fathering three children? Now after transformational surgery having freed yourself from hetero-normative constructs you find that no cis gendered, binary inhibited man wants to date you. That’s LGBTQetc discrimination. YOU are a VICTIM.

Let a ROT party take up your cause, get you employment and dates. Put ROT in power and things will change.

Vote ROT we care.

Media Due to the present unfortunate free-for-all, people are able to pick their own source of news, mistakenly known as ‘choice’. This leads to many being exposed to and hoodwinked into believing fake news. ROT will encourage social media outlets to monitor what appears on their platforms. This will protect vulnerable people from today’s rampant circumvention of orthodox views.

We are pleased to announce that many of our supporters in the media, Facebook, Google and Twitter among them, have already agreed to this necessary measure to safeguard those targeted by purveyors of alternative information. Those who choose to stand in the way of progress will be persuaded by being given the opportunity of making enhanced social contributions.

Europe ROT will reverse the decision made by unpatriotic blinkered little Englanders to leave the EU. There will be no need for a second referendum as it is clear the question is so complex that the average voter doesn’t know enough to vote intelligently. The ROT government will take the burden from them and make the decision without harassing voters with facts and choices.

All reasonable People know that just as it is better if individuals leave decision making to the government so it is better for locally based regional governments like the UK to leave decision making to the EU. Let the people who know make the decisions for our future. You know that you are safe in the hands of Juncker, Merkel and Macron.

Scotland Our sister party Caledonian Republic and Progress (CRAP) have announced an exciting and innovative way of electing the president of the newly independent nation of the People’s Republic of Scotland/Caledonia/Alba.

Each year on November 30th (St Andrew’s Day renamed Salmond Day) there will be a nationwide lottery to elect the president for the coming year. This will be truly diverse. Every citizen, regardless of age, ethnicity, chosen gender or intellectual capacity will be entered.

Although courageously innovative CRAP is yet keeping with tradition. During the days of independence before being subjugated under the jackboot of imperialist England, the nation’s absolute monarchs were wonderfully diverse. They ranged from infants to the chronologically enhanced, those deluded by the moral strait-jacket of religion to adulterous murderers with a penchant for adventurous sexual activity, the intellectually advantaged to the differently enabled, the gender fluid to those yet to come out of the closet.

Scotland/Caledonia/Alba will go forward by reinstating the past.

Vote early. Vote often. Vote CRAP.

(Image: David Howard)

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Dr Campbell Campbell-Jack
Dr Campbell Campbell-Jack
Campbell is a retired Presbyterian minister who lives in Stirlingshire. He blogs at A Grain of Sand.

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