IN PARTS 1, 2 and 3 of this report, we identified dysbrexia as a blind panic affecting the bourgeoisie – forcing them into denial before they retreat into a parallel universe where words can have the opposite meaning and perception is bent to fit their own prejudices.

Dysbrexia diagnosis is in its infancy, but there is a rudimentary test. Show the patient the word ‘referendum’ and ask what it means.

What you dread is the BINARy response: ‘Because I’m not a racist’ (BINAR).

When the patient issues that phrase, what they are really saying is something quite different and sinister: ‘Look at me, mummy, I’m on top of the moral grandstand!’

That’s when you know you’re dealing with an approval junkie. I’m sorry to break it you, but dealing with them is going to be difficult. You’re going to have to take the blinkers off them and lead them out of their narrow horizons. You will need a lot of patience. Good luck with that.

Try to remember, as they scream ‘racist’ at you and constantly compare you to Hitler, that there is an intelligent – but very, very frightened – human being hiding behind that shield of dysbrexia. Don’t give up on them.

No one is beyond redemption. There will come a breakthrough moment, when they don’t liken you to the Third Reich. As their eyes open wider, they may even understand the true meaning of words such as Diversity and Democracy.

Maybe even Referendum. You never know. I’m never going to let this awful condition ruin my relationships with my remainiac friends.

But that’s because I’m not dysbrexic!

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