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Wednesday, April 17, 2024
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HomeCOVID-19Exclusive: Those secret Johnson WhatsApp messages

Exclusive: Those secret Johnson WhatsApp messages

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THE Covid Inquiry, led by Baroness Hallett, has demanded Boris Johnson and a senior aide hand over their WhatsApp messages. The Cabinet Office is contesting the demand, saying the inquiry does not have a right to receive ‘unambiguously irrelevant material’ from any minister or officialTCW Defending Freedom has, however, gained exclusive access to WhatsApp messages between the former Prime Minister and colleagues including Matt Hancock, the former Health Secretary, Rishi Sunak the then Chancellor and Michael Gove, the Bilderberg enforcer. The WhatsApp group was called CovidScam.

BoJo: How’s it going with your piece of skirt, Hancock?

MH: Please don’t refer to Gina as ‘a piece of skirt’.

BoJo: How’s it going with your bit of stuff?

MH: Gina and I are in love.

BoJo: Oh dear! Just don’t get caught. I can get away with it but you can’t.

***

MH: Good news everyone. We’ve managed to procure more Midazolam from France.

MG: What’s that used for?

MH: It’s a safe and effective sedative that’s used with morphine. We can use it to help those we need to discharge from hospitals.

BoJo: I like ‘safe and effective’. Let’s use that for the vaccines.

***

BoJo: There will be a soirée at Number Ten tomorrow. Low-key because of you-know-what. Let me know if you can attend.

RS: I can probably fit it in.

BoJo: Apologies, Rishi, we’ve ordered cottage pie and beef stroganoff. Not your sort of thing.

***

BoJo: Everyone, don’t forget to make use of the VIP Lane. We urgently need good quality PPE but if you can’t get any the NHS will take any old tat . . . bin liners, kiddies’ goggles, Marigolds, snorkelling gear etc.

MH: I know a bloke at my local who says he has contacts.

BoJo: Give it a go.

MH: Will do.

MG: I have referred a friend of mine. Asda bags for life are very resilient. Could they be repurposed?

BoJo: Thanks, Michael, not helpful about the bags.

MG: Waitrose?

***

BoJo: We are having a leaving do at Number Ten tonight. Let me know if you can get there and bring a bottle . . . no plonk!

MG: I’ll be there!

RS: Great, I think I can make it.

BoJo: Sorry, Rishi, it looks like it will be a bit of an all-nighter and I know you’re teetotal. Maybe next time. We’ll try to keep the noise down.

***

BoJo: Did any of you see the apparition Whitty on the box last night?

MH: Yes he’s creepy but he scares the old ladies and makes the rest of us look almost normal. Not you, Govey, obvs!

MG: Ha, ha.

***

MH: Are you having any more parties at number Ten?

Bojo: Yes, there’s one tomorrow. Bring a bottle and your bit of fluff.

MG: Is it all right if I come?

BoJo: I suppose so, but none of that weird dancing.

RS: I’ll be there.

BoJo: Sorry, Rishi, TBH I think we’re full now. Six-feet rule and all that. 

RS: TBH is not really appropriate from you, TBH.

BoJo: Obvs but you still can’t come.

***

TCW understands that Johnson’s repeated rebuffs caused an embittered Rishi Sunak to embark on an unaffordable furlough scheme which led to the destruction of the economy, the downfall of two Prime Ministers, his appointment to become First Lord of the Treasury and the inevitable implementation of the WEF agenda to include Universal Basic Income coupled to a Central Bank Digital Currency.

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John Ellwood
John Ellwood
John is the father of four beautiful girls. He is, thankfully, not knowingly related to Tobias Ellwood. ‘My Dear Friends . . . ’ a compilation of many of John’s contributions to TCW Defending Freedom is available in paperback and on Kindle.

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