BORIS Johnson vowed to die in a ditch over Brexit. He didn’t. But what if you want to live in a ditch? TCW checked with estate agents nationwide yesterday and found there is a surprising number on offer . . .
The Titch Ditch: Cramped, downmarket starter ditch, wall-to-wall mud, hot and cold running rats.
The Semi Ditch-tached: Ditch separated from neighbouring ditch with a sheet of corrugated iron.
The Rich Ditch: Upmarket executive ditch with cardboard box conservatory, duckboard decking and fitted zinc bucket.
The Blitz Ditch: Former wartime slit trench decorated with Vera Lynn pictures. Optional sandbag extension.
The Shoreditch: Pothole in middle of East London road.
The Kitsch Ditch: Ditch filled with ghastly novelty teapots and tacky ceramic figurines.
The Get Ditch Quick: Ditch dug instantly by a JCB.
The Which? Ditch: Ditch approved by the Consumers’ Association.
The Itch Ditch: New owner will need to deal with flea infestation.