AN imaginary letter from China’s top civil servant.
Dear British ‘Conservative’ MPs,
On behalf of the President of the PRC I have been authorised to thank you for your services to China. Your role has been crucial in advancing China’s dominance over the West. As I believe you say, ‘we couldn’t have done it without you’, and your services will not be forgotten.
Indeed we have marvelled at your enthusiasm to destroy the UK from within. You have followed your leader ‘up the garden path’ (I do like your British sayings) destroying both your economy and commitment to human rights in 12 short months. Your ‘PsyOps’ campaign attacking the people’s will to resist has been, well, exemplary. We congratulate you and (whisper this) we could even learn a bit from you!
You must understand that if it wasn’t for you Tory MPs nodding through the third lockdown there would have been a reasonable chance that the UK would have recovered from its over-reaction to ‘Covid 19’ (NB see how there is no reference to China here – very good). To be honest, we feared that you Tory MPs would be the sticking point.
We knew that your befuddled Prime Minister (the one with a jellied spine) would be a walkover, as would his sycophantic Cabinet, the civil service and the MSM; that much was assured. However you backbenchers were always going to be more unpredictable. As it turned out, we needn’t have worried, as you all did the right thing and ensured a crippling third lockdown sailed through your Parliament with barely a murmur (the exception being the ‘gang of 12’).
This panicky decision has greatly amused our President: I have never seen him laugh so much! We are all still amazed how easily you choose to ignore the evidence of the damage lockdowns are causing! Of course some of you realise the extensive harm this has done to all age groups and hundreds of thousands of flourishing businesses, but you did nothing. However many more of you still do not realise your mistake (long may you thrive). You badly wanted to believe those useless Sage models even when their predictions were always wrong. We are surprised that this never caused you concern.
And for what? Ah yes, you believe that you have ‘saved’ your precious NHS. We offer you a new slogan: ‘Save the NHS – Lose a Country’.
In recognition of your services, you will be pleased to know that I have been authorised to invite to all Tory MPs who voted for the third lockdown on an all-expenses-paid, fact-finding Grand Tour of China. You have certainly earned it and we know how you love your junkets.
With much gratitude . . .
PS: We will of course secretly continue to despise you for your mental weakness and willingness to sell your country out.