Saturday, November 28, 2020
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Guardian Job Vacancy: Burn the Witch Correspondent

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ARE you convinced that Priti Patel is a white supremacist?

Are you certain that she’s casting spells straight out of Donald Trump’s playbook?

When she speaks about immigration do you suspect that dogs are barking all over the country?

Why don’t you pick up that torch and take it to the next level?

The Guardian is looking for a Burn the Witch Correspondent.

Be part of the team at Britain’s favourite uniquely funded newspaper. Unlike other populist newspapers, our running costs are subsidised by bulk buys from the BBC and public sector organisations. We are also living off the money raised by the lower orders who produced Auto Trader.

We are staffed almost entirely by people who went to private school and work out their guilt through psychological projection. Accusing people of racism, sexism and homophobia is at the heart of what we do!

Do you have the arrogance to surf the global village and make judgements on people you don’t know whose lives you will never understand?

Is ad hominem in your DNA? Are you convinced that your tweeted insults are regularly winning conversations?

Come and pitch your forks at The Guardian.

There’s no need to worry about the contradictions. As an organisation, we are uniquely covered by Left Wing Logic, which means we can endlessly troll Ann Widdecombe while accusing others of misogyny.

Send applications, with your Twitter handle, to Owen Jones or Marina Hyde at the Guardian. Don’t forget, we need proof of your virtue. 

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Nick Booth
Nicholas Booth is the editor of OhThisBloodyComputer and a freelance technology writer

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