Monday, May 23, 2022
HomeNewsI Will Survive (or When Harri Met Boris) 

I Will Survive (or When Harri Met Boris) 

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BORIS Johnson sang I Will Survive to his new communications chief Guto Harri when he appointed him, it has been revealed.  

The former BBC journalist told how the Prime Minister – facing fierce pressure to quit over Partygate – broke into the 1978 Gloria Gaynor chart hit amid laughter. 

Now a full version of the Johnson rendition has been leaked, but it turns out that it differs somewhat from the original . . .

***

First I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking Partygate would be my suicide
But the Gray report’s still being strung along
Tho’ it’s caused a pong
I see nothing wrong 

So I’m clinging on
Despite disgrace
And if I stay I’ll wipe that smirk off Cummings’ ratty face
I should have shunned those stupid p*ss-ups valid work events
I should have hid that suitcase key
If I’d known for just one second it was filled up with chilled Chablis 

So take your Pimm’s, walk out the door
Just turn around now
You can’t BYOB any more
No, don’t try to tempt me with a shot of rye
Prosecco spritzer,
Or a London Dry 

Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to lie, I know I’ll stay alive
No 10 may be leaking like a sieve
But I’ve got loads more lies to give and I’ll survive
I will survive, hey, hey 

It took a load of bulls**t just to play my part
When with the ’22 I had a heart-to-heart
Then Carrie said Stop feeling sorry for yourself
And grow a pair
So I spout hot air, now my policy 

Is distractions galore
(I’m sending Britain’s only tank to stop a Ukraine war)
Govey with his levelling up has got our MPs sizzling
While I’m saving all my vengeance for Sunak, that sneaky Quisling 

Go now Rishi, walk out the door
Your multi-billion spendfest
Has left the country poor 
Weren’t you the one who on my premiership wished a pox?
Now I’m the Gaynor, you’re the loser
So get back in your red box 

Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to lie, I know I’ll stay alive
No 10 may be leaking like a sieve
But I’ve got loads more lies to give and I’ll survive
I will survive, hey, hey 

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Weaver Sheridan
Weaver Sheridan
Weaver Sheridan is a wannabe best-selling novelist, one of his efforts being the Fifties Franny series, available on Amazon Kindle books.

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