WHAT have we done to deserve this bunch of Tory candidates? The opium smokers, cocaine sniffers, the dope smokers and then Boris who was arguably part of a criminal conspiracy to assault a journalist. Is this really the best we have? I accept not all of them are opium smokers, cocaine sniffers, dope smokers and criminal conspirators but it gets difficult to tell one from the other, even if you follow politics closely.

I know what some of you are going to say – what does it matter? Just chill out and have a drink, or a spliff, or a little bit of coke. Relax, woman, this is the new hip, woke Conservative party, don’t get your knickers in a twist, we have all done it. What’s the damage? The short answer is – there is a lot of damage and we certainly all have not done it.

Take a quick trip down to the magistrates’ courts and the family courts and you will see what damage drug-taking does. And no, it is not the criminalisation of drugs that causes the damage, it is the drugs themselves that destroy lives. I should know: I represented enough unfortunate drug-takers in my time, and a fair few of their kids also.

So indeed, my knickers are in a twist because, call me crazy, call me extreme, but I just think it would be nice if our future Prime Minister had not in fact broken the criminal law in his or her past. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so.

Back in the day, a simple adulterous affair would be enough to end any chances of becoming Prime Minister, but we were then told that this was wrong, and the voters no longer cared about such trivial matters. Now we are going to be told to look the other way if our Prime Minister previously broke the criminal law on drug possession. So what will be next? Never mind if they dabbled in the odd bit of fraud? Are there to be any standards at all? This is Great Britain, for goodness sake, not Italy or indeed Chicago. We used to have standards.

I am frequently asked, well then, who would you back? To which I say – none of the above. A plague on all their houses. They are politicians and they have to earn my vote with sensible policies (so no big money give-aways, no gimmicks, no climate extremists or open border maniacs and no self-declared feminists) and a back story that doesn’t make us all blush. And if the Tory party cannot produce such a candidate, then that’s on them. That is their problem. I shall stay at home until such time as such a candidate is produced. Until then, I look on at this horror show and pray that it ends as soon as possible.

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