AS IF we haven’t been treated to enough lunacy over the last 19 months, it appears the Woke (tagline: evil never sleeps) have decided that Bill Shakespeare is too traumatising for the new generation of bedwetters.
The Globe Theatre in London have issued trigger warnings for their June-October production of Romeo and Juliet, pointing to ‘suicide, drug use and fake blood’ in the tragedy, with a phone number for the Samaritans offered at the door for traumatised audience members.
Please. You’d like to think that the majority of those going to watch this production will at some point have picked up a book, better yet a Shakespeare play, and read the ruddy thing so they know what to expect. It appears that even in fair Verona, civil blood can’t make civil hands unclean lest their audiences faint with over-excitement. I notice that they’ve gone for a ‘diverse’ cast (and have dispensed with Romeo’s father, Lord Montague – maybe something to do with the patriarchy) so at least The Globe can pat themselves on the back for that. Yes, well done, you prats.
In other news, the one-hit wonder, It’s Raining Men, has been deemed not diverse or inclusive enough for modern audiences and has been partially rewritten for the modern age. The new version, performed by American transgender and gay rights activist, Mila Jam (no, me neither), and given blessing by original writer Paul Schaffer, is merrily entitle, It’s Raining Them, and a few of its ‘problematic’ lyrics have been taken out and replaced by more inclusive words.
Those include replacing ‘men’ to ‘them’, ‘rough and tough and strong and mean’ to ‘proud and loud’ and ‘single woman’ to ‘single person’. You can check out the song here:
Ugh. Notwithstanding that this gay anthem isn’t my cup of tea anyway, this accommodation of modern sensibilities is getting ridiculous. We read last week that the poet and teacher Kate Clanchy is rewriting her book, Children I Taught and What They Taught Me, because a few choice lines were picked up by the perpetually offended. The way our society is going, practically every song or book produced will have to undergo some process or other to appease the Twitter mob. I do hope, at some point, they get around to a writer with the balls to say no to these cry-babies.
Lastly, the Swedish hobgoblin Greta Thunberg has been whining that the UK’s claim to be a climate change leader is a lie.
The world-renowned climate scientist, whose qualifications include a few GCSE equivalents, has also said the COP26 lovefest in Glasgow should be cancelled until global vaccination rates have risen, making her an expert now in virology as well as the environment.
The teenage prophet of doom and gloom, not content with our government’s move to ban petrol and diesel cars or to go Net Zero by 2030, like most kids wants it all now. It seems no one in our respective parliaments has the parental nous to say No! and send her to the naughty step. You’d hope that our government don’t succumb to her strops and quicken their policies on the green new agenda but after witnessing the craziness of the last two years, anything is possible.
I think it might be time for a lie-down. Maybe I’ll put The Weather Girls on and read my copy of Romeo and Juliet and try to remember a time when our country wasn’t insane.