I’M sure that, like me, most of you chaps are anxiously looking to your wardrobes for the party season despite this pesky lockdown.
You’ll also doubtless be worried, indeed as am I, that your outfit of choice might be sending out the wrong signals in these liberated times, with – how can I put it? – perhaps a little too much hint of testosterone.
Well, fear not. Gucci has come up with the perfect solution. For just £1,700, you can slip into a rather lovely check smock in delicate colours that ‘reflects the idea of fluidity . . . disrupting the toxic stereotypes that mold (sic) masculine gender identity’.
With a contrast Peter Pan collar, smock embroidery on the button front and a satin bow at the waist, you get an added ‘childhood-inspired element’, says the Italian fashion house.
And, as you fashionista fellows have probably already excitedly realised, the smock would be perfectly complemented by Gucci’s other winter collection sensation – eco-washed organic denim pants for £600, complete with artificial grass stains around the knee area.
What more could today’s man à la mode ask?
Er, well, he could ask if he wants to go round looking like John Cleese as the village idiot in the classic Monty Python sketch, like the yokels from the Coates Cider advert, or like Alice in Wonderland on steroids.
Or why he’s forked out £2,300 to dress up like a right wally when he could have achieved the same effect for a couple of quid by rummaging around in the bargain bin at the charity shop. But that’s fashion for you.