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Laura Perrins: A Christmas present can tell a girl a lot


For my last blog before Christmas, first, I wish all our readers the very best this holiday season, and by way of a present I shall give some matriarchal advice.

Indeed, warm Christmas wishes to you all, and as I put in every Christmas card and is more relevant this year than ever, I hope all our readers have a peaceful New Year. Even Bogbrush, no, in fact, especially Bogbrush – still prayin’ for you!

As the Feast of the Nativity approaches I get especially excited. Not just the celebration of the birth of our Lord, which is important, of course, but also because as well as this being the season to be jolly, it is also the season to become engaged to be married.

Every year, a week after Christmas, I like to carefully go through the announcements in both The Times and The Irish Times so I can update my address book. I tell you, other than the announcement of a birth, nothing gives me greater joy than writing Mr and Mrs on a Christmas card, when previously it was just Miss or Mr.

Dear ladies of TCW my next paragraph is for you. There are a number of blogs out there on the economics of Christmas gift giving, and consumerism etc, etc, etc but they are all written by blokes.

One points out how gift giving can tell you much about a relationship and this is never truer than at Christmas. The gift a boyfriend gives you can tell you much about his true feelings towards you. So even if he does not get down on one knee to propose with a ring, the gift given you at Christmas tells you much about what his true intentions are.

For those who are interested, here are my broad guidelines on what the gift tells you. Take it or leave it; it is up to you.

If you are going out for more than six months, really the gift should be jewellery. It does not have to be tremendously expensive, but it has to be romantic; it has to say something to your heart. A nice pair of earrings is romantic, a smartphone (even a very expensive one) is not.

I once knew a couple way, way back when, who seemed very serious about each other. On at least their second if not third Christmas together, he gave her a Playstation. This was an expensive gift but it took me by surprise. You might give a nephew a Playstation, not a girlfriend, even one who loves gaming. They broke up a few months later. This most certainly did not take me by surprise.

As most readers will be aware I am not a fan of the ever-lasting boyfriend syndrome. It is my humble but honest opinion that if the woman is over 35 and you have been going out for more than one year, really he should propose this Christmas.

If this is your second or third Christmas together and he does not propose you should give serious consideration to ending it. Don’t explain why, do not interrogate him, just end it preferably on the same day in January you know he gets his credit card bill.

I am also aware, however, in this new era, this new regime unleashed by the feminists, that there are some men out there who refuse to even be tied down as a boyfriend. If you have the misfortunate to be in one of these ‘situations’ then gift buying is difficult.

In reality there should be no gift buying on your part, but if you are the generous kind I implore you to keep simple. Perhaps a book – Peter Pan perhaps. And pay much attention to what he gets you. If it is something thoughtful, there is hope. If it is hopeless, however, again just end it. If it is a voucher, well good luck.

Do not be swayed by “I just did not have time” excuses. I notice these excuses are often given by men who have lots of time to watch the full series of House of Cards in one sitting. Or spend inordinate amounts of time and money following a sports team. So he does have time for the things he loves. Sadly, that just might not be you.

Finally, should any of readers become engaged over the Christmas tide, I wish you all the best.

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