Friday, April 19, 2024
HomeLaura PerrinsLaura Perrins: Casual sex satisfies neither men nor women

Laura Perrins: Casual sex satisfies neither men nor women


Oh how we pity them, and sometimes maybe laugh at them. Those poor folk living in North Korea and other communist dictatorships, who explode into fits of hysteria upon the death of the Supreme Leader. This is what years of state indoctrination and dictatorship will do to a person.

It is hard to know whether these people are genuinely upset or feel they must put on a show for the authorities – either way it is sad to see. We are much too free and sophisticated for that in the West, or are we?

I was reading one of those – What is going on with The Youth pieces – from America. It discusses the much-hyped hookup scene on American university campuses.

In it, our hapless feminist Leah Fessler recounts a pretty sad existence. She is happy and successful on the outside but utterly depressed on the inside because she was participating in the hook-up scene – a series of meaningless one-night stands.

She tells us “my internal life was characterised by paralysing anxiety and depression. I judged myself harshly, to the point of disgust. I drove myself to excessive exercising and near-anorexia. I felt this way because of men—or so I thought.”

Fessler confirms the hook-up scene at her college, but also, “Far more frequent, however, were pseudo-relationships, the mutant children of meaningless sex and loving partnerships. Two students consistently hook up with one another—and typically, only each other—for weeks, months, even years. Yet per an unspoken social code, neither party is permitted emotional involvement, commitment, or vulnerability. To call them exclusive would be “clingy,” or even “crazy.”” There you have it – you are nut-job if you want a serious exclusive relationship.

And whom, may I ask, is not permitting these adults emotional involvement with the person they are sexually involved with? Who writes this unspoken social code?

Indeed Fessler admits, “It wasn’t just the social pressure that drove me to buy into the commitment-free hook-up lifestyle, but my own identity as a feminist.” Finally, an admission that it is feminist ideology, and not men per se, that is inflicting so much pain on the sisters.

Anyway she managed to make her final year thesis out of interviewing all the broken hearts around campus and telling us something her grandmother could have told her (and saved her some tuition fees to boot.) “The truth is that, for many women, there’s nothing liberating about emotionless, non-committal sex.” What an amazing revelation!

This, in particular, caught my eye, “Men’s experiences with hook-up culture are equally complex. It’s worth noting that the vast majority of males I interviewed and surveyed also ideally preferred committed relationships. But they felt strong social pressure to have casual sex.”

What’s that? Hang on, if the women don’t like the hook-up scene and men don’t like the hook-up scene then why the hell are they all participating in it? Has something been put in the water? Is this a Western form of the mass delusion we see on display in North Korea?

As usual it was ‘the culture’ wot done it. Well it wasn’t conservative culture, I thought, something that the writer still rejects. It was the liberals and in particular the feminist agenda to poison the relations between the sexes so marriage and family life become impossible. Once the relations between the genders are trashed then the State can step in and take over.

Sadly the piece falls apart at the end – the writer recommend ‘self-awareness’ or some such nonsense as well as (and I am not kidding) “Pleasure-centric sex ed, beginning in middle school and high school and all the way through college.” Do you know what I call pleasure centric sex ed for children? Grooming.

Because explicit sex ed has not done enough damage already! Gosh I can’t wait for that one: “How was school dear?  Oh, great Mum. We learned about position 54 in the Kama Sutra. Any geometry dear? Did you learn any geometry? Oh, do shut up mother, and be a bit more self-aware.”

Anyway, our feminist fighter is going to “build a relationship with her own body before she engages in anyone else’s.” Good luck with that.

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