Tuesday, May 21, 2024
HomeLaura PerrinsLaura Perrins: I am shocked to discover I am a sexist pig

Laura Perrins: I am shocked to discover I am a sexist pig


Huge news just in – apparently I am ‘as sexist as they come’, according to a test administered by boffins at Ohio State University, and reproduced kindly by the Daily Telegraph.

Accordingly to the – wait for it – Ambivalent Sexism Inventory Scale, the fact that I strongly agree with the statement, “No matter how accomplished he is, a man is not truly complete as a person unless he has the love of a woman” means I am sexist pig.

No doubt the researchers would have to be revived with some smelling salts if they knew that I also strongly agreed with the statement, “Many women are actually seeking special favours, such as hiring policies that favour them over men, under the guise of asking for equality”. This is entireraison d’etre of the feminist movement.

The researchers also believe that if you strongly agree with the idea that ‘women should be cherished and protected by men’ then you should be sent to re-education camp, pronto. There you will be told that any husband who seeks to cherish and protect you is a very bad man indeed, a monster in fact, and should be divorced instantly and taken to the cleaners. Rock on feisty researchers!

I also strongly agreed with the statement “A good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man.” Of course, she should! My own dear husband said after the birth of our second child that (and this is a direct quote dear reader) ‘you deserve a statue.’

Now, it is true I am still waiting for that statue but I appreciated the sentiment. Mind you a woman should not be literally set on a pedestal by her man otherwise how will she be able to cook his dinner after a hard day’s work?! Gosh, what a terrifying thought.

Focusing on EL James’s erotic romance Fifty Shades series,  the researchers also discovered a direct correlation between those who had read the novels and those who held traditionally sexist opinions. Oh dear.

The poor, poor feminists – years of campaigning trying to break down stereotypes and then this woman (a woman!) comes along with her filthy novel and destroys the progress made.

However, we know that correlation is not causation and considering that Fifty Shades has been read by most of the people on the planet (apart from me) this study is problematic.

Perhaps, just perhaps, all these readers (mostly women) hold these dangerous thoughts, with or without the novel. Perhaps their inner woman really just does want to be rescued, protected and ‘put on a pedestal’ by her man.

We better order some more smelling salts!

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