Laura Perrins: Left-wing men – an apology

I am about to do something I swore I would never do. Are you ready? Are you comfortable? It seems I owe Left-wing men an apology for pointing out that some scientist somewhere confirmed in the laboratory, using a Bunsen burner and the table of periodic elements, while wearing a white coat and controlling for outside factors, that Left-wing men are weak, or at least weaker when compared with Right-wing men, when it comes to upper-body strength.

https://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/laura-perrins-left-wing-men-really-weaker-sex/

Boy oh boy, this did not go down well with the Comrades. I knew for sure I had irked, touched a nerve, caused some emotional pain, when they started sending me photos via Twitter to prove they were not weak. Reports came in that some had taken to safe spaces while hugging their favourite childhood toy. I became gravely concerned that I was going to be sued for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

It occurred to me that many of the Comrades were taking this scientific study a little too seriously. I was merely extrapolating from the study itself – I was not responsible for either its commission or the results.

I also wanted to criticise the spin the boffins themselves put on said study, namely that physically weaker men are being self-sacrificial by being Left-wing, when if we are to think in evolutionary terms it makes sense for them to seek the resources of others as they are less able to gather resources themselves, what with the fragile physique.

The obvious criticism of this is that today physical strength counts for very little, and in fact most of the professional success, the gathering of resources if you will, has been made by the physically weak nerds – which, believe me, I find galling.

In truth, forty years ago the best a maths graduate could hope for was to go into academia and earn about £40,000 pa (in today’s money). These days said graduate could go into banking, computer nerding or whatever it is they do, and earn at least six figures. So, like most studies printed in newspapers, this one was not worth the paper it was written on.

What does delight me, however (apart obviously from the photos), what is so delicious is the fact that the Comrades still value physical strength.

Male physical strength is something to be admired, with general fitness and sporting prowess. So, it seems despite the decades-long feminisation of men, there is life in the old dog yet.



Yes, Left-wing man has been shamed by his feminist sisters, denounced by some as a rabid sexist, scowled at for secretly admiring Page Three (ie being a man), but deep beneath all that socialist nonsense beats the heart of a true hero.

Perhaps all the Momentum men are the real men many conservative women have been looking for? They cannot just tweet but such is their upper-body strength that they will help you up and down the stairs with your pram to boot. Sure, they might be wearing a Tories Out t-shirt over that masculine body, but it is a body to admire. It is a body, dare I say it, that might bring a shade of rouge to one’s conservative cheeks.

So, good for you, Left-wing man. It’s great to know you’re not going down without a fight.

Laura Perrins

  • Bernard from Bucks

    ‘A Left Wing Man’ by Pam Ayres.

    I am ready Mr. Prescott
    You can take me in your arms
    All these years I’ve waited
    To experience your charms
    So fling aside those trousers
    I hope they’re quick release
    For all that hanky panky’s
    Made you clinically obese

    I like a man of substance
    I like a man of size
    Especially when I’m measuring
    The bags beneath their eyes
    If anyone insulted me
    I have no doubt at all
    You’d leap to my defence
    And punch the blighter through the wall

    I like you Mr Prescott
    A constant watch I keep
    To see you on TV
    Sat next to Tony, fast asleep
    So I’m waiting Mr Prescott
    My toothbrush in my bag
    To see your chiselled jaw
    Behind the wheel of either Jag

    A man like you is dangerous
    A man like you is trouble
    Just like a row of houses
    You demolished me to rubble
    With one hand on the tiller
    As steady as a rock
    And the other disappearing
    Up the secretary’s frockl

    • a misplaced modifier

      Marvellous! Thank you for copying it out for us — I’ve never heard it before.

    • Labour_is_bunk

      Question for TCW administrators – is my perfectly innocuous (pulled) post in response to the above, going to be reinstated?
      It certainly was NOT spam, and I’m annoyed.

  • Haha – Is “computer nerding” the official title of an IT vocation!?!

  • Ed McA

    Just a pity that they’re so weak in the head.

    • Bosanova

      Yup. Strong or weak, they’re still emotional infants.

  • Revd Robert West

    Far Left ‘men’ miss Mummy. That is why they are so weeeeeaaaaak.

    • The_Mocking_Turtle

      Don’t you think that Jesus was a bit of a lefty, Reverend? With all his advice about loving others more than yourself, forgiving your enemies, giving being better than receiving and such like?

      • Revd Robert West

        What is loving about immigration, or Islam, or the EU. Would Jesus want you to become a doormat and give up your country, your independence and your faith – that is not the Saviour but a burglar, a conman and a jihadist.

        • The_Mocking_Turtle

          Well, actually, unless you can quote scripture to me to prove the contrary I think Jesus recommended love over hate in respect to EVERYBODY including loving and forgiving your worst enemies.For example Matthew 5:44:

          “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

          Can I ask you what church you belong to? Your opinions seem too strident and aggressive to belong to any genuine minister in possession of genuine apostolic succession.

          • Jethro

            … interesting choice of words, in your last lines: I think an “ordained minister” would be content to be called a Priest, particularly if he were one in the Apostolic Succession, who would never, I think, claim to be ‘in possession of the apostolic succession’.

          • Phil R

            Accepting and condoning destructive behaviour and opinion is never love.

            “Love your neighbour” does not mean accept your neighbour and condone his opinion and behaviour, if his actions and beliefs are contrary to the Bible.

            That would not be love.

          • Revd Robert West

            I am a presbyter (presbuteros: elder) in the local church, usually called a Minister of Religion. The verses you quote are part of personal morality, not political theory, and so cannot apply to the issues you have raised. The way you seem to want to apply them would allow any invader or migrant to dispossess the British or to conquer them. Is that love? If so, it is a false love. The migrants have their own parts of the world to build up, and we should not be taking them in to ease our own burdens or to add to them either. God has separated the nations (Genesis 10: 5, 20, 31, 32). His command is to disciple them by going to them, not bringing them here – see Matthew 28: 29 and Mark 16: 15.

        • Bannedwagon

          Are you a real churchman, or do you write this stuff for the lolz?
          I always thought Jesus was a tolerant kind of bloke.

          • Revd Robert West

            I do not know what Jesus you have been reading about. No one spoke more about Hell than the Jesus you find in the New Testament. A lot of so-called Ministers of the Church do not seem to preach the New Testament, or only certain parts of it, which, on their own, may give a very false impression of the real Jesus.

          • MorganCourtenay

            Have you actually read the New Testament?

          • Sargv

            Yes, that’s why Hell is a major part of Christian belief.

      • fluffywabbit

        Why is what Jesus preached, particularly that which you have written, presumed to be the preserve of the Left?

      • MorganCourtenay

        You’ve selectively quoted Jesus. He also said that anyone who didn’t follow him would be condemned on Judgement Day.

      • Sargv

        Nah. Wrong type of Jesus. I like Korean one: https://thehouseofvines.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/korean-jesus.png

        They pinned him to the cross so he wouldn’t tear his enemies apart.

  • Little Black Censored

    Applying your principle to modern conditions, presumably left-wing men are mentally weaker as well. That is certainly true of the ones I know.

  • Ravenscar

    The very marrow of the ideology of Socialism is collectivism and this demands conformity and begets a totalitarian state controlled through the poisnonous blight of a command economy. Therefore Socialism disaffirms individuality and consequently snuffing out wealth creation the lifeblood of any society and along with stymying, innovation and invention.

    If a man is not allowed to take charge of the reins of his own destiny, indeed if personal responsibility is crushed then usurped, and dictated by the scourges and apparatus of the state, it follows that, man is thus to all intents and purposes emasculated.

    Weak men are transfixed and hence mesmerically enslaved by the pernicious, hateful dogmas of Socialist misanthropy and then force fed, nailed by its conspicuous Misandry, an absolutism demanded by cultural Marxism = Socialism.

    QED.

  • The_Mocking_Turtle

    I wonder how many press ups Jacob Rees-Mogg could manage?

    • Revd Robert West

      Left wing women like a dominant man. That is why I wear a clerical collar: to keep them off me. It works, to some degree, but then I have to use my biceps too. These equality women do nothing for me. I steer well clear of them.

      • The_Mocking_Turtle

        I don’t think you need a dog collar to repel members of the opposite sex, sir. I think that dressed as a civilian you would perfectly safe from the attentions of almost all women, whatever their political persuasion or affiliation.

        In this case: Why are you pretending to be a member of the priesthood?

        • Revd Robert West

          Every Christian is a priest. I am a pastor or shepherd, with a flock who keep me on my toes, as I do them too. See Revelation 1: 6; 1 Peter 2: 5.

      • timbazo

        With your collar, you’ll meet loads of dominant women. Time to get on your knees.

        • Revd Robert West

          NO SURRENDER!

  • fluffywabbit

    When the do-do hits the proverbial, as it must at some point in our history, the dominant males will be once again those that have the instinct and ability to hunt, create fire, build stuff, and so on. That the people we need least thrive, at least financially, those who can lie on screen – actors/actresses, who live for a living – politicians, and who can manipulate financial markets – banks and the financial sector shows how far we have come from the essential needs of food, shelter, and community.

  • HermitHarry

    A little ‘off topic’, but, reading a article, I’ve just realised that by default I have become a member of M.E.G.T.O.W – ‘Men Who Go Their Own Way’, sans women. I have never known such peace of mind. I wonder how many who do are left or right wing?

    • Bosanova

      And therein lies the end of western civilisation. Your choice is what a general would call “abandoning the field of battle”
      The trick is to actually engage with womankind, most of whom actually aren’t blue-haired feminists, and would actually like to find a decent man, who knows he’s a man and all that entails. So stand your ground, be secure in what you believe, and don’t feel you need be ashamed for simply existing. Everything in moderation of course, so you needn’t swing to the neanderthal extreme.

      • HermitHarry

        Well, your experience is not mine, as far as women are concerned. You are correct, it is, or has become, a battle, and I don’t believe it should be. I don’t know where you get the idea I am not secure in my beliefs, or feel ashamed for existing – are you sure this is not yourself you are revealing? – I have just had enough of women who ‘only want a decent man’ but have a check list a yard long to ensure he measures up to their idea of ‘decent’.

        • Bosanova

          I don’t think that of either you or myself. Sorry if I left that impression. Both men and women may start of with a wish list of their dream partner, hopefully at some point pragmatism intrudes when both parties can agree that nobody is perfect. And as ever, what either party articulates as to what they want isn’t always the truth.

          • HermitHarry

            I agree with you. I begin every relationship on three premises: I am truthful, I am loyal, If I seek to change you then I shouldn’t be with you in the first place. Unfortunately, many women fall short on all three.

  • fluffywabbit

    Having attended numerous Labour Party conferences in a non-partisan capacity, and witnessed the subsequent booze-ups, I can attest that left wing man likes to be as sexist and dip his wick as much, if not more, than any right-winger. – but then, that is at grass roots/middle level, perhaps to be upper echelon neutering is a requirement.

  • Bosanova

    Splendid Laura.
    Thanks for the laughs.

  • Bannedwagon

    As the Conservative party falls apart, and Brexit grinds towards its awful multi-billion-losing conclusion, I can see that you would want to distract us with this tosh.

    • Tom

      You are Seamus Milne and I claim my (post Corbyn victory) £5,000,000,000,000.

  • MorganCourtenay

    Actually, traditional left-wing men have always valued masculinity. This was because the socialists tended to come from traditionally-masculine employments like mining, ship-building and so on. They were either chased out or subdued by the onslaught of feminists, under the nonsensical banner of “brocialism”– a term I found unbelievable when I was Left-wing. Good to see some men fighting the good fight! I agree– male strength is a thing of wonder.