Sunday, May 19, 2024
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Laura Perrins: Lengthy cohabitation is an interview for a job the girl never gets


Now where was I? Ah yes it was the marriage proposal over Christmas. For those Conservative Woman readers who are engaged I send my congratulations. I am happy to inform you that there have been no less than two engagements in the Conservative Woman family, or at least I am claiming them as such.

But I feel duty bound, absolutely duty bound, to address the polar opposite of the Christmas engagement and that is The Interview. A plague on The Interview I say, and all your wretched imitations.

I understand that in these ‘modern times’ one must be understanding, flexible and hip etc about the rules of courtship and that most couples cohabit before marriage (ok, ok, so I did too).

But ladies, let me tell you there is cohabiting for a short period of time before marriage, and there is The Interview.

Many couples cohabit because they might want to buy somewhere together before getting married. Perhaps there is a career that needs to be ‘locked down’ before the couple feels ready to wed. I understand this and although I think not ideal, it can work as long as it is understood that marriage is desired and expected when the time is right and that time should be on the better side of 30 for the bride (studies back me up on this).

This is in stark contrast to The Interview. Here you may have an older man, say over 35; his career is rock solid and so is hers; he has bought his own place; he has ‘been around the block’; he brings the girlfriend to weddings; to intimate family gathering, and for romantic trips away. They have been seeing each other for more than 6 months and then the proposal does not come. Instead he asks her to Move In.

This, in my humble yet correct opinion, is not progress. This is The Interview. He is interviewing you for the position of Mrs ‘I am not quite there yet.’

I never understand This Interview business: this we need to live together for God knows how long while your eggs expire so I can see how good a cook you are or if you know of the Marie Kondo method of folding my boxer shorts.

Seriously, ladies; this man knows you. He either wants to marry you or not. It is that simple. You are not going to get to know each other any more living together than you already do now. So my advice is politely reject The Interview proposal.

Finally, do not bother telling me that not all women want to get married as I never believe this and, secondly, what are you doing on this website if that is what you think?

Most women want to get married. But I would prefer to be single forever than put up with The Interview.

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