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Laura Perrins: Man of the people charade. Even Ed’s spare kitchen is a palace compared to mine


I never thought I could write a whole blog about kitchens, but I had not counted on kitchengate. It turns out Ed Milband has two kitchens. His attempt to portray himself as a man of the people in his ‘spare kitchen’ has backfired.

Under pressure from Sarah Vine of The Daily Mail, who called Justine Miliband out for her lack of homemaking skills, Times columnist and friend of the Milibands Jenni Russell tweeted:  ‘Ed Miliband’s kitchen is lovely.  Daily Mail pix: the functional kitchenette by sitting room for tea and quick snacks.’

Right, that is Ok then. Note: this is not a utility room and has both a double-oven and hob. I will put my house (one kitchen, no kitchenette, no utility room) on the fact that there is also a utility room somewhere in this North London mansion in addition to the kitchenette, in addition to the main kitchen that we can infer must be opulent, as the spin-doctors were too afraid to let us see it.

What makes it even worse is that under further pressure, Jenni Russell then tweets, “it’s not 2 kitchens! More like Times’ tea prep area.  Can’t even sit in it.”

First you can sit in it – is has two stools. Secondly, since when is the definition of a kitchen a room you cannot sit in? The truth is that the North London liberal elite believe that if you cannot sit in a kitchen is not a kitchen. Good to know.

This means I do not have a kitchen – merely a food prep area with sink and oven. You cannot sit in my kitchen on chairs, at least. Sure, you can sit on the floor, as I often do with the kids, but I don’t think this counts.

All this kitchen chat reminds me of the time Karen Brady (who I normally like) was bitching about having to clear out her airing cupboard. Do you know what the airing cupboard is called in many family homes – one of the kid’s bedrooms. Or hallways – these are frequently luxuries also.

Ed should just give up – you are rich, admit it. At least we are spared this nonsense from Cameron – he just puts his expensive kitchen out there. Poor Ed – he just cannot get a break.

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