Philip Hammond gave his conference speech yesterday. I couldn’t tell you what was in it really as I nodded off halfway through. He offered a vague defence of capitalism and the market which would have been heartening if he had said it as if he meant it. But he didn’t, so it wasn’t.

Anyway, as I said, it was a bit of snooze-a-thon. I was woken only by my toddler spilling water all over me. She would probably have delivered a more convincing speech than spreadsheet Phil.

So I’ll have a few coffees before the Great Leader’s speech tomorrow, but I doubt if it will be any better.

If any of our dear readers managed to stay awake for the whole thing, please do enlighten us ‘below the line’. Many thanks.