Leftie Lunacy: Which of these two stories is true?

There were shouts of congratulation in Oslo as the builders of a major highway were awarded the Nobel Transportation Prize.

The Road To Hell Ltd, an infrastructure feature of human morality, was honoured for 'paving the route with good intentions'.

‘The destination is not actually that important,’ the prize committee said. ‘The fact that the road is one way only and that all who travel on it end up in eternal torment did not affect our decision.’

The Road To Hell Ltd declared: ‘This demonstrates that good intentions alone are enough to be considered for honour. Actual actions with positive outcomes, such as economic sanctions and military deterrents, have for too long been the only criteria for selection.’

A traveller on the Road To Hell said: ‘This is the most convenient route I have been along. Thinking and saying nice things has been unrecognised for too – Aah! Ow! I'm on fire! Somebody help me! No, no, not with those pitchforks . . . ’

In other news, the little-known International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICAN) won the Nobel Peace Prize last week, as the Norwegian Nobel Committee warned that the risk of a nuclear conflict is greater than for a long time.

The award was unexpected. The architects of the 2015 nuclear deal between international powers and Iran had been seen as favourites for achieving the sort of diplomatic breakthrough that has won the prize in the past.

The Conservative Woman

  • Still can’t be a looney as this http://www.rotherham.gov.uk/news/article/1326/rotherham_council_in_line_to_be_social_work_employer_of_the_year

    It’s like the council equivalent of plastering over the cracks.

  • annie Harrison

    Isn’t there a town in Norway called, “Hell”?

    • Bik Byro

      There is. And a “Condom” and an “An*s” in France, a “W*nk” in Germany and a “Batman” in Turkey

      • KilowattTyler

        …and not forgetting F***ing, in Austria.

  • Bik Byro

    In a world where little rocket man is behaving like a demented 6 year old, maybe the members of International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons would like to pay him a personal visit in Pyongyang. I’m sure he will carefully consider their views.

    • And one might remember as Sir Michael Fallon told the party conference last week that London and Manchester are closer to Pyongyang than Los Angeles is.

  • Colonel Mustard

    The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons isn’t international.