The Labour Party is banning heterosexual white men from a conference on equality.

Those attending the meeting next month must define themselves as one or more of the following categories: black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME); a woman; disabled; and lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT). There is no limit on the number of categories participants may claim, although anyone managing four is eligible to enter a prize draw for a quinoa and kale-juice breakfast with Jeremy Corbyn. (This last bit is not true . . . yet).

Labour said there was no point in straight white men attending the Young Labour conference because the aim of it was to elect equalities representatives.

A spokeswoman said: ‘There is nothing new about spaces for people with protected characteristics meeting to discuss the inequalities and obstacles they face.’

Coming next: Labour’s national five-a-side football tournament – all genders welcome except male. Entries restricted to players with only one leg (preferably the left). Caution: Goalposts subject to repositioning.

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