Days after getting cross with German police for preventing rape, Germany’s Green Party has called for subsidised prostitution to be dished out by doctors.

The Party’s spokeswoman for ‘care’, Elisabeth Scharfenberg, has said that doctors should be able to issue prescriptions for patients in need of “sexual assistance”.

German prostitutes already sell ‘sexual assistance’ to dementia sufferers, the handicapped and people living in care homes.

Perhaps our vote to quit the German-dominated EU was not such a surprise after all.