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Sunday, September 27, 2020
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Let me through, I’m a doctorate

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NOW that people believe in nothing, they’ll believe in anything. Be in no doubt: you too can be a convincer if you can learn to make bold declarations.

The coronavirus is spreading, Meghan has been exiled and Douglas Murray is on the march again. These outcomes are straight from Donald Trump’s White Supremacy playbook, with a forward from the Kremlin.

So  . . . I want to tell you how to capitalise on people’s uncertainty and win followers.

When a crowd gathers around a collapsed pensioner, they all feel awful. This could have been their moment to shine! Follow these simple rules and you can impress convince people of your expertise, and not just in this metaphor. By adopting a few bombastic opening lines, you can have your own crowd-parting versions of Let me through, I’m a doctor.

Let’s be really clear about this, race expert Rachel Boyle instructed us recently, when speaking on that infamous BBC Question Time Megxit incident that raised her profile. The media coverage on Meghan Markle was racist, she declared, so presumably we are all racist too.

As a lecturer at Edge Hill University in Ormskirk, Lancashire, Boyle expects her statements to be taken seriously. Each bleak take on society is immortalised on every student’s laptop, no questions dared to be asked.

Let me through, she seemed to be saying, I’m a doctorate. OK, it’s a disappointing treatment that she offers – Boyle prescribes diversity, but the outcome is divisity – but it’s the branding that matters.

Speaking as a woman is a great intro too if you don’t want to be challenged. The great news is that anyone can use it these days. Don’t be scared if you have a penis – you can define yourself as a woman and your DNA-obsessed questioner as chromophobic.

I’ve had death threats, you could say, if anyone questions your logic. Nobody has time to check the veracity of your claim. This gambit is known as The Newman Defence.

When did people start talking like this? We need to talk! We need answers!

Let’s be very clear, if you speak like thisyou’ve probably been media trained. Everyone in the Labour leadership contest will use these phrases.

But times are changing.Not that long ago the condescenti were always taken at their word.

Make no mistake, the lower orders didn’t dare challenge a confident speaker. Nick Clegg, for example, attacked bigotries that nobody proposed and got away with it for a surprisingly long time. We cannot cut ourselves off from the world, he strongly advised us. Who actually wanted to?

Sir Nick’s gone but there were lessons learned from his schtick. This behaviour mutated into Psychological Projection, a diversion tactic used to accuse others of our own failings.

Which is why people whose formative years were spent in sheltered education, ring-fenced by their parents’ money, will go on the attack once they get to college. They’ll adopt a donkey jacket and a Marcus Brigstocke mockney accent and start looking for someone they can accuse of being ‘posh’ (ie posher than them).

This Cleggian culture of projection created far worse social divisions and mutual mistrust than traditional racists managed in decades. Their catchphrase was much less aggressive.

I’m no racist, but: that was how poor people used to began a discussion about diversity. It’s still a phrase to make your heart sink, because you know something uncomfortable is coming next. But at least these speakers are good enough to be apologetic for their awkward views. Their complaint is almost a personal confession, whereas the Racism by Proxy crowd are much more bullish. They will happily tar whole sections of society with the racist brush. As long as it deflects from them.

That exemplifies how the debate about diversity became gentrified. It’s ironic that those making the biggest sacrifices make rather timid protests. While the benefactors of diversity, the condescenti aka the Poser Nostra, are far more strident.

The condescenti delight in talking up racism. Condemning it raises their profile, while admonishing others lowers the relative standing of Joe Public. This is a great way to raise one’s own profile. Look at me, everybody, I’m on top of the moral grandstand!

It’s also a horribly selfish course of action because it hurts those sections of society they pretend to be passionate about.

Imagine being a Polish nurse in a UK hospital. Every time you listen to the news you’re guaranteed two things. One is a report mentioning Britain’s foreign affairs which you might not completely understand. The other will be crude sound bites from Owen or Yasmin Remainiac with a message you’ll get instantly. Britain is 52 per cent openly hostile to you – and the other half have got Dog Whistles.

It’s unclear whether the Remainiacs are aware of the effect of their hysterical words. Do they realise they might be making those European nurses feel unwelcome?

The condescenti’s projection and racism by proxy is a horrible message.

Let’s be very clear about that.

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Nick Booth
Nicholas Booth is the editor of OhThisBloodyComputer and a freelance technology writer

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