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Tuesday, May 21, 2024
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HomeNewsLogging on to the local

Logging on to the local

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WFH (working from home) might well be replaced by WFP (working from pub) as hostelries offer workers cut-price deals such as free wi-fi, lunch, and unlimited tea and coffee. 

But will an influx of tech-savvy toilers with their laptops, smartphones, tablets and geek-speak hasten the demise of the traditional British pub? Judging by this poster I spotted outside one former spit ’n’ sawdust boozer the other day, it’s not looking good . . .  

Welcome to the Mouse & Keyboard

(formerly the Dog & Duck) 

For fun and games while you WFP! 

Live music: The Algo Rhythms – acapella trio singing in binary code. 

Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Bandwidth – Beatles tribute group with their latest showstopper Lucy in the Sky with Downloads

Lily the Laptop Dancer, the world’s slinkiest software engineer (she’ll tweak your hard drive and format your floppy disk). 

Speciality beers: Blogweiser, Carling Hack Label, Geekston’s Olde Peculier. 

Champagne: Veuve Clicko, ROM Perignon, Trollinger, Moet et Silicon. 

Wines: Bluetooth Nun.

Whiskies: The Famous Mouse, Matthews Southern Cursor. 

Karaoke: No need to stand at the mike. Stay in your seat and transmit your voice on to a hologram of yourself. 

Happy hour: Half-price anti-static screen wipes, 7pm to 8pm

Pub quiz: Twenty questions on sequential digital logic systems as applied to microprocessors. First prize: 40 terabytes of external memory.  

Pub games: Dotcominoes, shove bitcoin, laser-guided darts. 

Pub grub: Bangers and cache, Twitter fritters, phish and chips, Microsoft-boiled eggs, Apple Mac turnover, code in the hole, Lancashire botpot, Spotifyed Dick, cookies (if you permit them) and loads of spam. 

Get here early, because work stations fill up fast! 

Cyber-cheers, everyone! 

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Weaver Sheridan
Weaver Sheridan
Weaver Sheridan is a wannabe best-selling novelist, one of his efforts being the Fifties Franny series, available on Amazon Kindle books.

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