Nick – The Promise Keeper – Clegg has Revenant-ed after 40 days in the wilderness eating just locusts and honey and has outlined a terrifying vision that God gave him of a post-Brexit Britain.
A Britain without the supreme leadership of Herman van Rompuy will collapse as companies and people that have happily traded with each other for thousands of years will suddenly stop talking.
But that will just be the start. Britain will be cut adrift and forced to float aimlessly in the oceans, without reference to any of the maps that only the EU can provide. In many of these seas “There Be Dragons”, Clegg said, but Britain will be blind to the dangers. All because of the highly influential three per cent of the population who read The Daily Mail. “It’s likely to end with Britain plunging off the edge of the earth into the abyss”, Clegg said.
But it won’t stop there. The laws of physics – invented and regulated in an efficient, fair and democratic manner by the EU – will no longer apply. Regulations on SP2 hybridisation won’t have any jurisdiction and many atoms will go their own way. In the ensuing chaos, we could all collapse into a black hole and bin collections will have to be postponed.
Most chillingly of all, Nick Clegg will lose his chance to continue his sterling work for the people on Britain, from his new office in Brussels.
“Is that what you want for your children?” said Clegg, “because that’s what going to happen.”