The BBC has defended its decision to create a new position for a Dog’s Brexit Correspondent, and has rigorously defended itself against charges of so-called bias.
Explaining the decision to appoint Neil Gloomendoom to the new position in the BBC News team, a spokesman said his outstanding qualification is a passionate commitment to poisoning the well of good intentions and creating mutual suspicion.
“The BBC is a global news organisation, and it’s our job to depict Britain as a bloody awful, hateful place when Labour isn’t in power,” said a spokesman. “We will always seek to hold this government to account. And to drink champagne, re-run press releases and bury bad news when Jeremy Corbyn gets elected.”
Gloomendoom will report to Jo Coburn, the BBC’s Blame It On the Brexit editor, who will be sifting every single incident that happens in Britain and trying to tag it to Brexit. “If a tramp gets attacked by some yobs, we’ll check the ethnicities of all parties concerned and, if there’s a possible race angle, you can rest assured we’ll work it aggressively, even if it’s false,” said a news editor, “Britain is a multiracial society, so there will be plenty of circumstances where we can spin up a hate crime out of the most innocuous of incidents.”
Prior to joining the BBC, Gloomendoom was the Cry Wolf correspondent for Farming News and ghost wrote Chicken Licken’s celebrated blog, The Sky’s Falling In.