Fans of rival types of fascism have clashed again, as a planned Hate Against Hate march was ambushed by Counter Hate Against Hate, which argues there should be no platform for hatred and it should be stamped out as violently as possible.

The Hate Against Hate demo was organised in response to hate crimes by a third group of haters, who hate the country that granted them asylum. However, Counter Hate Against Hate organised a demo to oppose Hate Against Hate, arguing that anyone who hates hate haters is great by them.

“This country has a long tradition of tolerance,” said a spokesman for Counter Hate, “and if anyone disagrees we’ll kick their heads in and spray Mace in their eyes. And the police will tolerate it.”

With its characteristic balance, the BBC reported that the Hate Against Hate group is an extreme right wing organisation, while the mirror image Counter Hate Against Hate is run by nurses and teachers and other concerned citizens,  who are trying to protect endangered communities. However, the Counter Hate hate group was disappointed that its BBC news coverage had not been more flattering. This, said a BBC spokesman, proves how majestically even handed is the national broadcaster. An internal inquiry has found the BBC to be completely impartial and exonerated on all charges of bias.

“If we’re being criticised by both sides – ignoring it from one set of Nazis and adjusting our coverage to appease the other – we like to think we’ve got the balance right,” said a spokesman.

(Image: David Holt)