An aggrievance of middle class left wing activists has been ordered to suspend their disgust over an atrocity in the Middle East, until they know which president ordered the carnage.
As news emerged of a president who ordered 100,000 bombs to be dropped on innocent civilians, making six and a half million people homeless, righteous indignation quickly spread among the crowd. Many were prepared to mobilise, and the familiar chants of the self-important torch bearing mob, “Sieg High Horse”, could soon be heard rippling across the rally.
But at the last minute, a desperate message was conveyed, urging caution to the indignant crowd. The mass killings, it turned out, might have been conducted at the behest of President Obama, in which case they protestors would be absolutely fine about them.
A spokesman for the mob explained. “Er, basically, if a president in a blue jacket says the word pussy, that’s fascism. But if the president who belongs to a different party commits mass murder, or is an alleged rapist, that’s just fine by us,” said the self-appointed guardian of the nation’s morals.
Many ordinary members of the public might find this confusing, so the satirist offered this simple rule of thumb. “Don’t judge men by the nature of their character. Judge them by the colour of jacket, their hair or, dammit, even their skin! Being a progressive is all about tribal allegiance.”