Friday, April 12, 2024
HomeNewsNick Booth: The Patriarchy exposed. Brave our open day of open oppression

Nick Booth: The Patriarchy exposed. Brave our open day of open oppression


Dear TCW readers,

As you probably know, we at The Patriarchy are constantly finding new ways to oppress women, destroy the planet and create a polarised, loveless society.

It’s a constant work in progress, keeping the lower orders down. It’s not easy suppressing aspirational and productive talents and slowing down human progress.

But it’s not all work, work, work!

That’s why we’ve decided to hold a Patriarchal Open Day.

On Bank Holiday Monday, we’re throwing open the doors of our secret underground lair right at the heart of the earth’s core. We want people to see what really goes on in the secret society that furtively controls the world.

Visitors will be able to see for themselves how we work and play ­and even have a go at a bit of oppression themselves.

Among the games and activities will be:

Mansplaining workshops.

Divide and Rule ­as mentioned by Diane Abbott. Experience for yourselves the sheer joy of creating schisms in society and exploiting them to the max!

Privatising the NHS. See how easy it is to undo centuries of progress. You’ll wonder why we ever wanted to keep the nation healthy and productive in the first place.

Child Cruelty. A perennial favourite; there’s fun for all the family in picking on the vulnerable.

Getting Richer & Blaming the Poor. So good they named a song after it.
Entering the Kingdom of Heaven – No­ one’s managed to do this one yet. Who knows, maybe one of our visitors will succeed!

Mind control, chemical coshing and alien visitor denying. You will love these core conspiratorial experiences. Don¹t miss.

All visitors will be routinely brainwashed afterwards, for their protection and for training purposes.

Wanna come and join us? Please RSVP:

Open Day
The Patriarchy HQ
Underground Lair
Earth’s Core
Caliph8 BLZ-BUB


(Image: Charlotte Cooper)

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Nick Booth
Nick Booth
Nick Booth is a freelance writer.

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