Saturday, January 29, 2022
HomeCOVID-19Omicron: The organic vaccine with a low carbon footprint

Omicron: The organic vaccine with a low carbon footprint

-

OMICRON: They say it’s a highly contagious virus and could be all over the country in days.

But it doesn’t put anyone in hospital.

And of course once you’ve survived it, you will have natural immunity.

Viruses travel fast and free. They go viral without needing any help.

In other words, it’s a natural, organic, low carbon vaccine. Distributed free by sustainable organic transport.

It could vaccinate the whole country in days if we don’t lock down.

It won’t invoke a retrospective bill from Pfizer. The EU can’t block it.

The treatment is made up of two parts: the foreign component (the virus) and the antibodies and T cells, which are locally sourced from our immune systems.

The imported Chinese component has cleared customs regulations over Rules of Origin.  

The end product has mild side effects. You may experience a raised temperature. 

The worst effect is on anyone in any position of authority, real or imagined. These types of humanity are highly likely to have a raging fever and exhibit classic symptoms of delusions of grandeur.

The Organic Omicron is multicultural, and can infect all ethnicities. 

It does not discriminate against any of the 425 known genders. 

At the moment it’s free, but officials from HMRC are confident there’s a tax in it.

Omicron will be rebadged for different markets.

There will be a social media brand: #OMG!!

Football grounds will spray fans at the gates with 442OMN-Me-Head-Son

A cabinet of government ministers will be stocked with OMNI-Shambles.

The Omicron virus could be exploited to bring natural immunity to the entire country.

A government official said Boris Johnson is working tirelessly to destroy this opportunity.

- Advertisement -

If you appreciated this article, perhaps you might consider making a donation to The Conservative Woman. Unlike most other websites, we receive no independent funding. Our editors are unpaid and work entirely voluntarily as do the majority of our contributors but there are inevitable costs associated with running a website. We depend on our readers to help us, either with regular or one-off payments. You can donate here. Thank you.

Nick Booth
Nick Booth is currently appearing at the Twitter Theatre as @OhthisbloodyPC. He is currently rehearsing for a production of @PleaseMindMyFeet on Instagram which he is taking on tour to the Royal College of Dermatology in a campaign to stop the frequent misdiagnoses of pyoderma gangrenosum. He’s also a technology writer.

Sign up for TCW Daily

Each morning we send The ConWom Daily with links to our latest news. This is a free service and we will never share your details.