I grew up in a s***hole and spent half my life in a s***hole. I have a love-hate relationship with this s***hole. I wish past Presidents of the United States had referred to Bombay, my birthplace, as a s***hole. Perhaps their use of the acrid adjective would have shamed Bombay’s ruling classes into building toilets rather than temples.

I didn’t need Donald Trump to spill the beans on s***hole countries (or Democrat Senator Dick Durbin to fabricate this statement and attribute it to President Trump). My family woke up to the pungent reality of living in a faeces-ridden city when Uncle Alex, Dad’s younger brother, told us he was bringing his Canadian wife to visit India for the first time.


We were hugely relieved when Uncle Alex said they would be staying not with us but in a hotel. We lived in government quarters – a lone building plonked right in the middle of a slum. The sight of men, women and children lining up at the slum’s outer recesses and performing their morning rites of passage was not particularly scenic.

Millions of Mumbai’s railway commuters, forced to endure the nauseating stench of biodegradable human waste every morning, use expletives far more explosive than Donald Trump when referring to this s***hole.

What compensates for living in such a hellhole is the outstanding cultural life of the city. I sang my first Bach motet and my first Rossini opera in Bombay, saw my first Rodin sculptures in Bombay, whizzed through English literature from Chaucer to Eliot in Bombay, and worked with the finest news editors and investigative reporters in Bombay.

The winds of high culture did little to flush away the pong emanating like evil spirits from Bombay’s serpentine gullies and gutters. India’s literary geniuses have immortalised the scenes of public shame in scintillating prose. Rohinton Mistry’s novel A Fine Balance describes a slum-dweller living near the tracks who memorises the railway timetable to avoid downloading his daily output when a train is likely to hurtle past. V S Naipaul, in his travelogue An Area of Darkness, outdid Trump-speak by a gazillion miles when he wrote, ‘Indians defecate everywhere. They defecate, mostly, beside the railway tracks. But they also defecate on the beaches; they defecate on the hills; they defecate on the riverbanks.’

Yet the Indian government did nothing to improve national hygiene and provide the poor with latrines. India was a s***hole of socialism and corruption, and the two go together like strawberries and cream. I wasn’t surprised at all when the US documentary filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza, my contemporary from Bombay, tweeted: HOW S***HOLES ARE CREATED: India too was kind of a s***hole under socialism until its leaders got smart and liberalised the economy. D’Souza is married to a Venezuelan. Now she’s telling us how socialism has so impoverished the richest economy in Latin America that people have to queue for hours simply to buy a roll of toilet paper. Chavez, the hero of the Left, turned Venezuela into a s***hole.

The Left has the reverse of the Midas touch. Everything it touches turns to ordure, literally as well as metaphorically. Especially art. The Left began turning Western museums into ‘up yours’ celebrations of human excretory functions in 1917, the year of the Russian Revolution. That year, Marcel Duchamp exhibited a urinal titled Fountain. Instead of howling like a cat on hot bricks, as is the response of the media, academy and even Christian leaders to Trump’s comment, philosopher Stephen Hicks argued that Duchamp was making a provocative statement. This was his calm critique of the work of ‘art’:

‘The artist is a not great creator – Duchamp went shopping at a plumbing store. The artwork is not a special object – it was mass-produced in a factory. The experience of art is not exciting and ennobling – at best it is puzzling and mostly leaves one with a sense of distaste. But over and above that, Duchamp did not select just any ready-made object to display. In selecting the urinal, his message was clear: Art is something you p*ss on.’ The Tate Modern proudly displays a replica of this tour de force.

The American artist and photographer Andres Serrano takes this a bold step further. He calls his masterpiece P*ss Christ. The artwork depicts a small plastic crucifix submerged in a glass tank of the artist’s urine. Serrano received $15,000 for the work, and $5,000 in 1986 from the taxpayer-funded National Endowment for the Arts. Sister Wendy Beckett, a British art critic and Catholic nun made famous by her BBC documentaries on the history of art, defended the artwork by telling Bill Moyers on TV that she regarded the work as not blasphemous but a statement on ‘this is what we are doing to Christ’. I’d love to hear her response to a copy of the Koran being immersed in a similar fluid as a work of art. If a cartoon is drawn of Muhammad, it’s Islamophobia! If Christ is mocked, it’s art!

Marcel Walldorf’s sculpture of a policewoman in armoured olive-green riot control gear squatting and urinating won an award as it pushed Western civilisation and art further down the drainpipes into the sewers. Petra is a life-size sculpture made of silicone and metal. She is squatting on her haunches, legs spread, pants and underwear pulled down, exposing her genitals to urinate. The sculpture even has a mechanism by which a liquid is released from the sculpture’s genitals, but to avoid damaging the floor, a puddle of urine made of gelatin was substituted for the exhibition in Dresden.

The most expensive work of poop art is in New York’s Guggenheim Museum. The installation by Maurizio Cattelan is a fully functional toilet cast in 18-carat gold, called America. Visitors to the museum are encouraged to relieve themselves on this throne. ‘Come spend a little alone time with America, and you can ponder that meaning for yourself,’ says the museum on its website.

The meaning is clear. Guggenheim Museum invites you to defecate on America, on ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’, on the American dream, on Western civilisation and on the glories of Western art. This is the great project of the Left. It is the supreme countermove to the project of Judeo-Christianity.

When upper-caste Hindus forced Indian untouchables to work as scavengers and carry human excreta in wicker baskets on their heads, it was Christian missionaries, not Leftist activists, who touched them and told them God had created them in his image and likeness. Christianity was the only liberating solution to the worst form of racism the world has ever seen – the Hindu caste system.

It was Christianity and capitalism, not Hinduism and socialism, that transformed India from a s***hole to an economic and educational powerhouse. Donald Trump needs to use the word s***hole more – not merely to describe countries reeking with the stench of corruption, but every institution in the West that the Left seeks to pollute with its reverse Midas touch, especially s***hole art galleries and museums.

113 COMMENTS

  1. “In lieu of loos,” Bombay/Mumbai residents relieve themselves wherever and whenever? This would seem to be one of those “cultural” things visiting Westerners are expected to take in stride, lest they be thought “Western-Culture Hegemonic.” And I suppose it would be simply something to be chalked up to a sort of “barbarism” regarding bodily functions on the part of the local residents, were it not for the obvious ever-present danger of the transmission of disease.

    Regarding particular matters, particular practices of particular cultures MAY thus be seen to be objectively of a lower order of civilisation, but of course we are not allowed to say so. And, as the Reverend points out, certain forms of artistic expression in OUR culture can be categorised similarly, and we face the same sort of opprobrium if we state THAT obvious fact.

    • We must expect such opprobrium. When Lefties, heretics, and atheists insult me, I regard it as a badge of honor. I must be doing something right.

  2. Usually enjoy reading your articles Rev. Guess it was a poor choice on my part to read it whilst I was having my porage.

    • It is a terrific article. You simply chose to read it at the wrong time. You should have looked at another article and returned to this one after porridge.

  3. The Church of England is slowing turning its cathedrals into lavatories. When I visited Liverpool Cathedral, I was shocked to see a work of ‘art’ by the ‘artist’ Tracey Emin (who regarded her unmade bed where she slept with 24 men as a work of ‘art’!). It was a sentence in disgusting pink neon which read ‘I felt you and knew you loved me.’ Welby was dean at the time and both he and Bishop James Jones were huge fans of this piece of ‘art’ the cathedral guides told me, even though they all without exception expressed disgust over this work that desecrated their cathedral. I’m sure the current bishop Paul Bayes loves it.

    • Your allegations genuinely shock me.
      As someone very seriously involved with the visual arts the likes of Emin represent the very opposite of all that art aspires to.
      Seems to me, devout atheist but with a sense of tradition & community, that I value Churches & their contents rather more than the pseudo Christian popinjays in silly robes & seats in the Lords

  4. Chris Ofili painted a bad picture of the Virgin Mary using elephant dung. And of course Gilbert and George, whose crude, simplistic and repetitive pictures often feature their own poo. To say they’re sh*t is true on so many levels. Brian Sewell’s verdict on them applies equally to all the other artists of excrement: “They are nothing but a pair of pretentious prats. They see all their excretions as precious. They are infantile and narcissistic.”

    • According to the The Daily Telegraph (February 26, 1998) the lead exhibit at the reopening of the Serpentine Museum in London was an arrangement of 32 cans of the excrement of one of the artists who described his intent as to exalt the body by this contribution. A glamorous throng, led by the Crown Prince of Greece and Yugoslavia, Lady Helen Taylor, Paloma Picasso, daughter of Pablo, and other leading politicians and artists came to pay homage to this centerpiece of the art exhibit!

        • It gets better.
          Turns out the cans were not hermetically sealed & those “art collectors”
          who invested in these items were, in due course, subject to explosions
          of vintage excrement.
          Just visualise the dinner party in an 18 million pound house in Regents Park. Just as the Polish parlour maid serves up the third of ten courses
          with the French wine waiter in attendance & the assorted East European serfs waiting in the basement to be called up to clear the table when
          bang !!!!

  5. The goal of cultural marxism is just that. When they have turn your country/ society into a sh!thole, then even a socialist utopia looks better! Not really a great selling point!

  6. “– a fully functional toilet cast in 18-carat gold, called America. Visitors to the museum are encouraged to relieve themselves on this throne. ‘Come spend a little alone time with America, and you can ponder that meaning for yourself,’ says the museum on its website.”
    This level of self loathing is part of the left’s long running campaign to destroy Western civilisation, and replace it with just about anything.
    The Guggenheim museums are subsidised by a massively rich charity, not unlike the one that
    subsidises the Guardian.
    Its openings are ram packed (just like Jezza) with guys in DJs & broads in exclusive gowns,
    they think, like the Clooneys of this world, that virtue signalling is very fashionable & cool,
    and does them no personal harm as they don’t have to live with the consequences.
    Jo Cox was mistaken in that belief.
    Perhaps a few other exhibitionist lefties might give her case pause for thought.

      • That’s correct it’s not at all sinister.
        Why waste time stating what’s obvious for all to see ?
        PS. 2 + 2 = 4.

          • Unsettling, to whom ?
            Do you know about the unfortunate woman’s beliefs & activities ?
            Do you know about her husband’s ?
            That’s what I find unsettling.

          • Of course not.
            By assassinating the wretched woman her killer has made her a
            saint & started a Jo Cox industry for those who despise our poorer classes
            & celebrate those who made them poorer.
            At least three Conservative MPs have been assassinated by Irish terrorists
            & they have not been canonised or celebrated by street parties.
            Murder a Tory & their dead.
            Murder a lefty & they live forever in the hearts of gullible idiots.
            In the UK our politics has been, by international standards, non violent.
            Now that Momentum & its thuggish supporters are so powerful
            they have decided for us that the US President cannot have a state visit.
            I’m not optimistic for ur political future.

          • Murdering politicians, be they Jo Cox or Ian Gow, does not seem to be a cause of celebration, but to be regrettable. Whether or not she was a person you disagree with, I’m not sure that anyone deserves the appellation ‘wretched’. Should someone have murdered a Tory in the run-up to that idiotic referendum I would condemn it unilaterally. That’s not what I’ve seen here.

  7. The Donald is very good value to my mind. He drives the media elite wild. They even appear to be wild eyed and frothing at the mouth. They are getting desperate as they were sure he could be impeached just by them saying so. More and more ordinary people are having the true state of our media elites revealed to them. Excellent! I find it highly amusing, so “Go Donald!”

  8. It was Christianity and capitalism not Hinduism and socialism that transformed India from a s..t hole to an economic and educational powerhouse”.
    Christianity ? I am puzzled.
    Wasn’t the policy of the Raj to not evangelise ? Are there now not few Christians in India ?
    Or is this saying that it is because of the colonising power, G.Britain’s presence, the country improved ?

    • It was the policy of the Raj not to evangelise. You are right. But after William Wilberforce and his companions forced the Empire to send chaplains to the British troops and administrators, slowly other European countries like Denmark began sending missionaries. With William Carey, mission to India became more established. Roman Catholic missionaries did a huge amount of work. The percentage of Christians in India is a well-kept secret. The government claims it is 2.3 percent. However, it is more like 6-10 percent as there have been enormous number of conversions from Hinduism taking place over the last 20 years (and this is from all castes of Hindus). Even though the Christian numbers are still small (relatively speaking), the influence of Christianity is huge. Most people want to send their children to a ‘convent’ (i.e. Christian) school.

      • Thank you General, most interesting.
        I was heartened to learn that Christians comprise 6/10 % of the population.
        Recently I spent time in hospital and one of the better nurses, an Indian from the southern province of Kerrala, explained that the best schools, colleges and hospitals there were founded and run by Catholic missionaries.

        • It is an old story… throughout the civilized world. But the secular Left refuses to admit the truth.

      • One is somehow reminded, however, of M.K. Gandhi’s view of Christianity: “I can only hope that someday the British will be converted to it.”

          • It suggests that there may have been rather a division between the person of Christ and the Christianity that Gandhi saw being demonstrated.

          • A big duh. Of course, Jesus Christ was perfect and no church or Christian can be perfect this side of heaven.

          • Which you have clearly shown that you agee with.

            And Gandhi was definitely his own understated version of a pompous grandstanding lunatic. It got him a lot of public attention and v.signalling praise. Without accomplishing much.

        • M.K. Gandhi with due respect to what he is to India, was a hypocrite. He borrowed the concept of non-violence from the Sermon on the Mount and never acknowledged the source. He was hugely influenced by the teachings of Christ but did nothing to alleviate the sufferings of the outcastes and the scavenging caste in India. He did not convert to Christianity obviously for political reasons. It was easy for him to criticise Christians for not following Christ thoroughly but he did not even have the decency to admit that he was following the teachings of Jesus.

    • The British Raj did not want Christian missionaries to go India with their blessings. They would rather keep them away from the native pagans and have their wealth stolen. But thankfully, many British and European missionaries following the great command did go to India to preach the liberating Gospel of God’s redemption through His incarnate Son Jesus. Besides, St. Thomas one of the apostles of Jesus went to India two thousand years ago for the same reason.
      Though the British Raj did not preach the Gospel directly, the Christian values they brought along and the railways and education for women etc., did bring huge transformation to India. Again it is the Judeo-Christian values that the Western empire brought all along to their colonies which have had incalculable impact on the way these colonies improved from their pagan ways. Now, the Western Leftist cultural and ideological imperialism with people like Jane Ozanne on board are undoing what good was done in these colonies by bringing moral filth to these colonies.

      • Yes leftists ignore the enormous amount of good work done by missionaries and through the general effect of those formed by the Judaeo-Christian faith.

        • Exactly correct! It is to the Left’s advantage to erase most positive history and only remember (and proclaim) the few instances of error and ignorance.

  9. The Left has rubbished everything that matters for good and healthy life and they did not spare aesthetics. I always had a problem with Marxist idea that everything about human like has to have some utilitarian value and since art does not have that, Marxism rubbishes aesthetics. Cultural Marxists have gone even beyond that. They not only rubbish aesthetics, they invade our senses with filth, ugliness and with bizarre images. They have moved away from the very source of goodness and beauty, that is, God the Creator Himself and thus they have moved to what is entirely antithetical to all that God stands for. I am talking about the God of the Judeo- Christian scriptures, those Scriptures that gave Western world what they call Western civilisation. St. Paul exhorts the church in Philippi that, ”Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things”

    Such a shame that all this is being eradicated and replaced with what is ugly, disgusting, filthy, and nauseatingly immodest.

    If we, the Conservatives and Christians do not take up arms against this invasion of filth on our lives… woe be to us, then!

  10. Christianity was the only liberating solution to the worst form of racism the world has ever seen – the Hindu caste system.
    Thank you for that, Rev Jules. I hope it doesn’t bring Plod knocking in your door.

    • You sure have great taste in art. Do you regard your commode as a piece de resistance? Or your bodily discharges as worthy of display at the Louvre?

        • Then why do you think that the anger at art galleries and museums that exhibit such s*it is bizarre?

          • Most galleries have permanent exhibitions and a rolling cast of visiting exhibitions alongside them. In amongst that there will be stuff you like, stuff you hate, stuff that challenges you and stuff that makes you go ‘meh’. Getting angry with the physical existence of an institution seems bizarre and this is taking us into the territory of the Nazis, who held a ‘degenerate art’ exhibition and who, bizarrely, seem to have hated jazz, which was also seen as ‘degenerate’.

          • No logic in your statements.

            Only, emotion.

            The Nazis believed in their thought; so do you. There is no difference.

          • I’m neither. I’m a nihilist. There are no principles for which I’d die, or be part of a crowd other than to save my own miserable hide.

          • You’re going to die anyway. Why not slit your wrists tonight in a hot bath – like the ancient Romans?

            It is, as a nihilist, inconsistent to be bothered about your body.

          • It’s both. But the joy is that I’m never going to fall into step with the bunch of loonies who want to ban jazz or the other bunch of loonies who want to ban Vasily Grossman for violating the principles of socialist realism. They’re two cheeks of the same bottom.

          • Of course I don’t. Joy is an emotion for others. But equally, I’m not going to don a uniform and strut around in it, or fall into step with Tories or the Corbynites who are, you guessed it, two cheeks of the same bottom. Being an anti-idealist means you never get seduced and you never get conned.

          • At least you seem to be having more fun here than Duke, who seems to have a “burr under his saddle.”

          • Responding online, where no one can punch you in the nose, takes no courage. In fact many trolls keep coming around only because they are lonely and need attention. Even negative attention is better than none at all as it gives a false sense of significance. If you can stimulate a response, you think you have power.

          • Duke,
            According to your previous illogic with Barry: The Nazis did not think art was degenerate. You do not think art is degenerate. Therefore you are a Nazi.

          • Barry has some beliefs that are truly out of bounds, but your picking on him and trying to bait him into a debate about trivia lowers yourself to below his level. You are sounding juvenile as well as obnoxious. Surely you are not these things, so you might remember the droll proverb: “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.” Of course, we are talking here about blogging.

          • That is ridiculous, Duke. Unless it is music that stimulates anger and violence or obscenity (like some ‘music’ does), it is at the very least morally neutral. Instrumental jazz is a good thing, not at all degenerate.

          • Jazz is a symbol of artistic triumph over modest instrumental resources.
            It allowed American musicians of talent, up to and including genius,
            to express their talent in a deeply snobbish/racist society in the 1920s & 30s. The legacy of the great jazz pioneers is with us today & as far
            as European Art Music (“classical” as it is inaccurately called) is concerned raised the standards of playing on many instruments.
            Benny Goodman’s recording of the Mozard clarinet quintet is still considered the best historic recording.
            A few years back Wynton Marsalis was the first, and only, artist to win Grammys for the best jazz recording of the year & the best classical one.
            Jazz is the supreme example of persons from differing backgrounds working in co operation to produce a sturdy & healthy mongrel art form that celebrates co operation & talent over divisiveness & is the opposite of multiculturalism.
            Today’s pop culture, above all, rap, is true degeneration & the blacks associated with the horrible genre are revelling in actual or phoney
            savagery.
            When confronted with a rap “artist” on TV , I visualise a couple of KKK
            types in robes & pointy hats, sitting on a bench in Loiusiana.
            “Give these SOBs the vote Elmer, & this is what we end up with”.

          • Jazz is a symptom of degeneration – the product of a fractured culture.
            No, that’s not jazz, that’s Jezza.

    • What an odd takeaway from the piece you have. It was clearly taking a pop at the left for corrupting some art institutions, rather than the institutions themselves. As for “anger”, that is actually much more palpable in the preceding section on Hindu racism.

  11. A toilet made of 18 carat gold!!! What a waste of money!!! Why could the charity not give this money to some poor needy communities? And they talk about how they are concerned about the poor and needy of the world!!! Hypocrites!

  12. Brilliant article. The left hates Christianity because it is their only obstacle to power – and, boy, do they want power badly. When they get it, the left ALWAYS starts murdering people – in large numbers.

    • In what way has Christianity gotten in the way of the powerful?
      What they don’t like about organised religion, and this will come to include Islam, is the word organised associated with it. You cannot have an alternative to the Government to provide, be it national or eventually European, and organised religion can provide an alternative, see Islam operate outside Govt. control and the others with a push could also do it.

      • Yes, all groups of people have some power. The larger and more committed to an ideology or belief system, the more powerful they can become. Note how the small persecuted religion in Rome called Christianity eventually became corrupted into the Holy Roman Empire.

    • Chuckle. I assume you are trying to be humorous/ironic. However, if the spelling is all you can find to critique here, then it amounts to praise for Gomes.

      By the way, for our listeners, neither “Mumbai” nor “Bombay” are written in an original language of India’s people. Both are Englishised versions, written attempts to allow those who speak English to say the name properly. Yes, Mumbai is likely to be much closer to the original, a more recent English correction.

    • Bom-bay comes from the Portuguese, which simply means beautiful bay. Mumbai is a Hindu name, after the goddess Mumbadevi.

      • Thanks for the info. But why would the English use Portuguese for an Indian city? I suggest that it was originally Mumbai and the English corrupted it because they did not like calling the city the name of a Hindu god.

      • Bom-bay comes from the Portuguese, which simply means beautiful bay.

        Sorry to disappoint you, General, but that’s a myth, exploded long ago. “Good bay” in Portuguese would be “bahia boa” (prior to 20th century spelling reforms) or possibly “boa bahia”. The masculine form “bom” doesn’t fit.

        The “beautiful island” is a different place altogether: “ilha formosa”, now renamed Taiwan.

        • If we are talking about an Englishised pidgin word, then it would not take much for “boa bahia” to become Bombay over time, especially with Mumbai already the native term.

          Languages are always changing and very rapidly today. Only “dead” languages like ancient Hebrew, Greek, and Latin remain relatively unchanged.

    • Funnily enough, up until last year I used to work in the office of an Indian owned business (British Indian, but with branches in the old country and the US too). The senior reporter there was an Indian woman who told me she was from Bombay. When I said wasn’t it called Mumbai these days, I got a fierce dressing down, and was told that all real native Bombayers still called it by the old name. Only the government thought of it as Mumbai lol.

  13. I’m pretty sure that shithole is how most people from Haiti etc would describe their countries; that is why so many of them want to leave them after all. Here is how one man from Sudan, who was paralysed in a mining accident in Chad whilst attempting to find enough gold from an illegal mine, described his future dreams:

    “I had the idea that I could get enough gold to go to Europe,” he says. “I didn’t care which country I went to. My dream place was somewhere where there is peace, serenity and a good living.”

    (https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2018/jan/17/deadly-african-gold-rush-people-smugglers-northern-chad-mines)

    Now, he was ‘lucky’ in that he got asylum to Finland after his accident, but the fact is that there are far more people who want to leave their shithole countries than there are spaces for them to go to here in the West (and why should we take them all anyway, when there are plenty of Middle Eastern and Asian states who duck their responsibilities in this manner and are never called out for it – Saudi Arabia anyone?).

    The solution is not to write tear jerking missives about how evil white racists are denying their common humanity with Africans, Latinos, Asians etc etc, it is to help transform their countries into places that people aren’t so desperate to leave that they are willing to get buried in a mining cave-in to raise the money to get out.

    I would suggest it would take a combination of approaches to achieve this, from the left and the right. But a good place to start would be to wring the necks of all the people who work in the offshore industry, who work so hard to ensure businesses don’t pay their taxes and to hide the loot stolen from these countries’ treasuries by their rulers.

  14. For goodness’ sake, we are all adults. Spare us the asterisks, it is so irritating; you made your point in the first sentence. No need to keep flogging a dead horse.

    • I have to agree.
      The finest conservative weekly in the English language is the Spectator,
      and in one review recently a lady journalist used, quite appropriately, 4 coarse
      words in full.
      OK, morons use the F & C words too much, but they have their uses, and in another
      article it was pointed out that they hardly relate to sexual organs & so cannot be treated as sexist. Just coarse.

    • Obviously the horse ain’t dead. And your own need to jump in here in this way means that you too enjoy flogging (somebody or something).

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