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One Pfizer jab, 20 months of battling to keep hope alive


Every  day we are republishing the personal accounts of those who have been injured by the Covid-19 vaccines in the hope of  forcing the issue to MPs’ attention; to prick their consciences, and make them aware that it is their duty to see that this gross injustice is rectified at the very least through a reformed and responsive compensation scheme, and also, importantly, through the removal of the vaccine manufacturers’ indemnity. Today’s article was first published on January 23, 2023. 

IT HAS been a very long 20 months since my one and only Pfizer vaccine. I was hesitant but seeing friends and family seemingly OK I decided to ‘do the right thing’ as we were told. The regret still lives on, of course, although over time you do begin to forgive yourself and recognise the huge pressures we were all under.

Within ten days it started. Pins and needles in the hands at night. Then numbness down the whole right side of my body. Then the constant muscle twitches all over the legs. Within a month the tremors started. By this stage I’d already been fobbed off by my GP and a private neurologist. They didn’t want to know or simply didn’t have a clue how to help. I’ll never forget another neurologist suggesting I even take the second jab. Trust in the system had gone at that point. The symptoms continued. Random jolty movements of the body, intense dizziness, headaches and head pressure, brain-shaking sensations, adrenaline rushes, some elevated heart rate episodes. By the six-month point I was rapidly losing hope. You try to stay positive but it really can be a battle. I was fortunate enough to be self-employed and able to work from home but I had to let jobs go as it became far too much, and the money spent on finding alternative therapies and supplements to fix the problem wiped out any savings I had left. 

Eventually I started to see some glimmers of improvement, finding certain things that seemed to at least provide relief. It was slow but bit by bit I could sense some progress. At the 20-month point many of the symptoms are still there and I still have a daily battle with them but generally they are at a far more manageable level. The relapses send you backwards, but you get used to them. It feels odd sometimes to say I’ve got used to any of this. I was perfectly healthy before. Never had any prior issues but when this happens you are forced to adapt pretty quickly. You start to forget what it felt like before all of this.

Beyond the physical, all of us have experienced the gaslighting from the medical profession, the online hatred of the vaccine-injured, the censorship by Big Tech. Whether you like it or not it forces you to see the world very differently.

There are positives. For me that comes from the amazing communities of vaccine-injured who have united to help each other, to listen to each other with an openness and compassion that gives me a great deal of hope for the future. To see what a group of people from all over the country and all over the world can do when they simply come together is quite something. The connections you make and communities you become a part of are like a beacon of light.

That’s why we must keep talking. We know there are more of us out there and they need to know that they are not alone.

The UK CV Family support group for the vaccine injured and bereaved can be contacted here. 

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Brian Howard
Brian Howard
Brian Howard, 38, is a moderator and volunteer for UK CV Family.

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