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Sunday, September 27, 2020
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Reader’s comment: From one extreme to the other

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n response to Andrew Devine: Why does the state help parents to dump their children?, Mina Christina Staples wrote:

If you scrap Section 20 of the Children’s Act, would it harm more children who would then remain in the home with parents who are unwilling to do what it takes to care for them? Wouldn’t revising Sect. 20 be more conducive to an expected outcome? While as a whole the social services community is a farce, speaking as a former Social Worker there are some caring souls who try but are often constricted by bureaucratic b.s. The answer to almost every ailment is a pill! Well, usually, many pills. I remember having 13-year-olds on boatloads of pills. I often wondered if the quacks handing out these pills had a clue. We’d have these kids anywhere from 3 to 6-8 months and then ship them back to their dysfunctional families. Nine out of ten of these kids would return within months if not weeks, back to the residential house. The problem with this model is that it doesn’t get to the root of the problem and just masks the symptoms with pills. It was a constant struggle to speak with Directors, Assts, etc. to understand that WE NEED to work with families, not just the child. Everyone in the household needs group therapy. Even grandparents, aunts, uncles, anyone who is connected to the child. All members need to see their role in this debacle. Teaching parents conflict resolution, communication skills, finding out if parents have an underlying condition, etc, etc. In order to fix the part, you must fix the whole or it all falls apart. So, instead of letting parents ‘dump’ their children into care, put some mandates in place that require parents to take parenting classes, sit in groups with and without their children, take an active role in the child’s care. If unable or unwilling, their parental rights would be terminated and they would not be able to just return on a whim and get their kid. Part of the problem as I see it, here in America, kids now call the cops on parents for almost anything. You can’t even yell at them without wondering if the cops are going to show up at your door. And nowadays, the kid stays put and you get taken away in handcuffs. It’s lunacy. In the 80s you could get pretty much beat your kids and no one blinked an eye; today, if you do, good chance the kid is going to cry abuse. So, we went from one extreme (letting kids get disciplined and some parents took it too far) to the other end of the spectrum where any meaningful discipline could get you in trouble. And we wonder why our children have gone to Hades.

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