In response to Only Joking! The quest for the next Bogeyman, Bill Quango MP wrote:
I sold my Racist stake back in 2010 when it was clearly falling rapidly through overuse. I invested in Class for a while. Which did see quite a blip during the UK riots.
But Class was too mainstream and long-term, and I wanted to be able to move my outrage more fluidly in the digital social media post-truth world.
So I invested in a basket of outrages from Guardian Offshore Progressive Hysteria.
And what a great decision that was.
Every day they track a range of emotions from the Handwringing 100 all the way to the Owen Jones Index.
I’ve got stakes in ‘Diesel. Fracking. Trump. The EU and BLM’. I had a package of fast-churning Mixed Foodbanks/Minimum Wage/Zero Hours/Student Debt.
But you can spread the risks by keeping a reserve of ‘House Prices. Corporation Tax. Offshore Banking and NHS in Crisis’ staples.
Tracked 24 hours a day directly from Left-wing media headlines, your personal progressive index manager ensures you will always have a full portfolio of the latest hurt feeling currencies: everything from LBGTcisQx7 to Universal Credit and an irrational hatred of Boris Johnson.
So get on board the offended bus with GOPH.
In a snowflake world that changes by the second, you don’t want to get caught out holding yesterday’s liberal opinions.