In response to Ann Farmer: Blame abortion, not IVF, for the fall in adoptions, Steve wrote:
No, Ann Farmer, you are totally wrong in this. The MAIN if not SOLE reason adoptions (and fostering) is at record lows is quite simply because of the hoops you have to jump through in order to be given a child.
We set off to foster with the intention that if we were successful we would adopt a child to be a sibling for our son. You have to attend a TRAINING course on being good parents even though we were already parents. Thirteen couples joined the course we went on – NONE survived the course. Yes you are vetted, but then you are brainwashed into only raising the child THEIR way. If you failed to do this, not only could you lose the placed child BUT ALSO your own child.
We were told that with fostered kids that if we even got their hair trimmed without permission they would be taken off you. You could NOT take the child away on holiday, change its hairstyle or TOUCH the child if it was upset.
We were told that 90 per cent of girls placed with foster parents WOULD make false accusations of abuse by the foster parents, and EVERY accusation would be believed, the child removed and even YOUR OWN KIDS removed as well as the police investigated, and if you worked with kids you would be barred from going to work. (I was a youth worker and my wife a kids’ nurse.)
We were also told that even AFTER adopting a child the BIRTH PARENTS would still retain access and influence over the child and must be accommodated by us at all times.
Fostering or adopting, basically we were told our rights were non-existent and if there were issues with the children then the overall chances were that your OWN biological children would also be removed.
Five of the couples with us on the course literally FLED the premises in fear. That’s why no one wants to foster or adopt, the risks of losing the kids you already have or facing prosecution after being falsely accused of something by a troubled child just makes it too risky.
