Wednesday, April 24, 2024
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Reader’s comment: The silent bully


In response to Andrew Cadman: We’re all drained by the Vampire of Downing Street, Mojo wrote:

What an immensely enlightening article for a number of reasons. I said when she was Home Secretary that there something of the silent bully about her. I certainly didn’t feel comfortable with her coming out after the referendum and declaring she was the only one who could carry out Brexit. I felt there was something deeply and frighteningly sinister about her.

Now I know . . . I divorced a man many years ago who would never talk to me. I thought he was an enigma when we first met and was exciting to know. After we married he very rarely instigated a conversation. He would never discuss or even argue. He always said ‘he didn’t do arguing because it was pointless’. He would sit in silence whilst I tried to solve problems between us. It ended up with me crying, screaming, feeling very nasty and a bully. I would always give in to his needs and whims. He said he wasn’t a bully when I accused him of such passive behaviour. Needless to say he eventually destroyed my confidence and my faith in social interaction. He was never violent. Always calm, very quiet and found it difficult to take responsibility for any decisions. He always left me to make the decisions by his silence and reluctance to lead. Yet he never stood by me if things went wrong or unfairness needed to be called out. He would always melt away to another room or behind a book whilst I was in the firing line.

It took me many years to gain the confidence to create a social life. I am now happily married with children and grandchildren but I will never forget that very surreal marriage of three years. I now see exactly the behaviour in Theresa May, both as Home Secretary where she let her colleagues’ heads roll for her ineptitude and her cowardice now over Brexit.

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