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Thursday, May 23, 2024
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Sausages, bonfires and sneering at the eco-nutters – what to do next Earth Day

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IN case you missed it, Monday was ‘Earth Day’. The internet was packed with fun activities for individuals and schools to celebrate this great occasion. TCW believes it is imperative that we do all we can to save the environment. Therefore, for the next Earth Day you may wish to consider the following eight actions to further the cause. In doing so you will help to increase the dangerously low level of vital carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and continue the ‘greening’ of the planet.

Light up the evening

On the stroke of eight turn on every light and appliance in the house for at least an hour. Don’t forget to include hairdryers, toasters and irons.

Barbecues and bonfires

Weather permitting, have a barbecue or better still a huge bonfire. Green and other Uniparty campaign literature will help to set the blaze roaring. For those with time on their hands, create an effigy of David Attenborough or Chris Packham to adorn your bonfire.

Eat more meat 

Gorge yourself on British sausages for breakfast, British steak pie for lunch and British lamb steaks for dinner. Remember: No farmers, no food!

Take a long drive

While you are still allowed, treat yourself to a long drive in your efficient internal combustion-engined car. An ideal destination would be to a heritage railway with multiple locomotives in steam.

Sneer at an EV

For a simple protest against the Green Blob, stand on the side of the road and sneer each time a heavily subsidised, road-destroying electric vehicle drives past. Insurance costs mean they won’t be around for long!

Collect bird remains 

For those living near the coast, scour the beach for gulls shredded by off-shore wind turbines. Take the remains to the nearest RSPB centre and see what they can do to help. The RSPB are supportive of the bird choppers and seemingly unconcerned about the gull cull. 

Question your MP

If you have the chance to speak to your Honourable Member, ask him/her/them how many parts per million of carbon dioxide there are in the atmosphere and what percentage of that is a result of human activity. Be prepared to laugh uproariously at the reply.

Be kind to an ignoramus

As it is their special day, why not be kind to a deluded, Guardian-reading, BBC-believing, fully boosted vegan? We suggest that you collect a variety of garden insects and crush them to form the basis of a pâté. Mix with a soupçon of soy sauce and some fresh nettle leaves before adding a dash of lemon juice to taste. Donate your delicacy to anyone who can be found glued to the road, dangling from a bridge or throwing soup at an old painting.

We must all do our bit to save the planet.

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John Ellwood
John Ellwood
John is the father of four beautiful girls. He is, thankfully, not knowingly related to Tobias Ellwood. ‘My Dear Friends . . . ’ a compilation of many of John’s contributions to TCW Defending Freedom is available in paperback and on Kindle.

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