NICOLA Sturgeon has hinted that she might close the Scottish border unless England adopts her stricter Covid quarantine rules for air travellers.
Now an early draft of a statement which Boris Johnson will make to MPs on the situation has been leaked. It appears to have been hastily written by the Prime Minister before being edited and amended, possibly by Michael Gove …
Huzza and hurrah! Good evening. This is the best news I’ve had in ages a tragic development. It will require champagne celebrations and fireworks tact and a delicate diplomatic touch to resolve. For the moment, we must punch the air with delight and dance round the room hugging one another bear ourselves with restraint and fortitude at the prospect of being cut off from that bloody awful Krankie woman and her cabal of moaning Jocks the esteemed First Minister and her SNP government. I pledge that we will do all in our power to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall and cage those woad-painted savages in their heathen land end this unfortunate and unnecessary barrier between our two fair countries. Yes! Yes! Bloody yes! God bless Scotland in this solemn hour.’