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HomeNewsThe BoJo Academy – Goodbye, Mr Raab

The BoJo Academy – Goodbye, Mr Raab

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ADMIRED the world over, the BoJo Academy epitomises the very best that a school can offer. Providing excellence in education, and in no small measure entertainment, it is an institution that has had, like all temples of learning, to adapt to demanding and changing circumstances. Resignations, in-house rivalry, scandals, financial problems, climate change and modern etiquette – not least the thorny issue of gender identity – have all raised their head over the last year. TCWDF presents a selection from the school archives, chronicling a few hectic terms. This article was first published on April 27, 2023.

THE BoJo Academy has felt it necessary to issue this communique to parents regarding recent events at the School before gossip and half-truths are perpetuated.

Bullying is a word that rightly sends shivers down the spine of any modern progressive educational establishment. Sadly it reared its ugly head some years ago at Rayner’s Lane Comprehensive.

Shamefully, the subject of accusations was not an unruly sixth-former but the Headmaster himself, Mr Brown. An individual prone to volcanic rages, he allegedly threw a telephone at a visiting Schools Inspector. Obviously this type of behaviour was deemed unacceptable and Mr Brown, or ‘Lordy Gordy’ as some boys called him, was swiftly relieved of his responsibilities. We now hear that, free from the burdens of Headship, he is happily retired and able to devote time to study of 19th century philosophers, notably Humbug, Cant and Hubris.

How regrettable therefore that the BoJo Academy, long recognised as a pioneer in the field of good governance, should itself be embroiled in a bullying furore. The Headmaster recently received eight letters of complaint regarding the geography teacher, Mr Raab.

Well known in the school for his no-nonsense approach to discipline and learning, Mr Raab cut a somewhat eccentric figure around the Academy. With his toned physique and his love of martial arts, he could often be seen in the quadrangle ‘working out’, as he liked to call it. This involved a series of air karate kicks and chops delivered with accompanying shouts of ‘Gotcha’, ‘Take that, you weed’ and sometimes ‘Who’s in charge now?’ Parents will recall his deputising at PTA meetings and school fetes if the Headmaster was indisposed. What a pity, therefore, that this long-serving and admired staff member should find himself at the very epicentre of concerning accusations.

The Academy has a zero tolerance approach to bullying and Mr Sunak was swift to act, immediately summoning Mr Raab to his study to account for himself. There was a heated discussion during which Mr Raab was presented with pupils’ exercise books showing wholly inappropriate annotations in the margins, such as ‘must try harder’, ‘this is hopeless’ and ‘re-write this essay’. One book had the intemperate phrase ‘if you don’t pull your socks up you will not progress to the senior school’ scrawled in it.

Faced with such overwhelming and incontrovertible evidence of disgraceful bullying, Mr Raab felt that resignation would be preferable to an ignominious and disruptive sacking. His somewhat mealy-mouthed written mea culpa is available to view on the Schools website. Go to www.weareuseless.com and click on the tab ‘Another one down’.

On a happier note, we would like to wish our colleague Mr Biden, the current Headmaster at the Sacred Heart of Ben and Jerry’s, good luck in his forthcoming bid for a second term in charge. Perceptive, wise and full of integrity, he is without question the best candidate to lead his School in the turbulent times ahead.

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Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin is a retired media executive who worked across domestic and international media.

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