I have been watching the very entertaining feminist fracas over when to have babies. Have them when you leave school (probably the stupidest advice I have ever heard), have them when your career is settled (namely 35+ doable but risky), have them with a partner, go it alone and on and on it goes.
It is clear to me that the feminist boomers have set an impossible standard for their kids to follow. I don’t mean impossible in getting married and staying faithful to their spouse for the rest of their earthly lives – not a lot of boomers managed to pull that one off.
I mean impossible because they taught them nothing about what it takes to find a suitable partner at a suitable time and to settle down. What advice they do give is worthless.
Kirstie Allsopp tells young women to leave school (at 16, 18?) buy a flat with mummy’s money and in between working (in a non-graduate job because there are loads of those, and they are really well paid don’t you know) and sitting at home with the embroidery until you find a “lovely man in your early twenties” and have babies.
Allison Pearson says this is silly, you have to go to university as it is one of the best places to find a mate. Both of these women call themselves feminists. I don’t.
Most people rounded on Kirstie Allsopp because they pointed out the rather obvious flaw that it is impossible to buy a flat without a well-paid job.
Allison Pearson said there was something in it and her advice to ‘women in their late twenties, …is…, if they have a presentable male on the premises, they should go home that same night and have unprotected sex.’
Right. So men are really just glorified sperm donors there to provide the necessary tick beside ‘have baby’ box for the alpha woman? Men are not responsible people worthy of dignity and respect, future husbands and fathers? No, they are just turkey basters.
There is very little discussion of what makes a good husband and father. There is mention of him being ‘lovely’ and ‘presentable’ or a ‘well-appointed young man with great potential and outstanding views’ (sounds like a horse). But that is about it.
In fact, no one has bothered to ask the men if they would like to sign up to this deal – kids in their early twenties?
Now an older man might, for sure (after he has been around the block). This happens. But the twenty year olds? The ones feminists keep bashing as night stalking omni-rapists that #YesALLWomen have been victims of? Those ones? Do you hear that silence?
Let’s face it, the main reasons men in their twenties would be out of their minds to sign up to this is:
a) they are getting their own career on track and generally will not get married and have children until this is settled;
b) many of them quite like not buying the cake when they are getting the slices for free – feminists told women this would be a great idea;
c) men have well into their forties to start a family so why would you do it in your twenties;
d) society has stripped all status from the protector and provider role so there is less incentive to assume it;
e) for those who do want to have a family they know it is next to impossible to buy a family home because of the astronomical price increase the boomers have been beneficiaries of.
Now that two incomes are counted for the mortgage the value of the houses such as Kirsty Allsopp and Allison Pearson have magically, magically increased exponentially. Truly this has been the biggest ruse of the last forty years.
Perhaps if the feminist mothers out there took a minute to examine their own legacy they would see there is a reason they may well be left without grandchildren.
Have you ever you given your daughter any advice whatsoever on what would make a suitable husband and father?
No, you gave advice on how to get into Cambridge and snag that glamorous internship but if you spent even a fraction of that time speaking about ties that bind perhaps you would not find yourselves in the bind you are now in.